The absolute nadir of earthly presence... the icebreaker

In my opinion, the most terrifying phrase in the workplace is: “Let’s start with an icebreaker”. Those of you with the characteristics of an extrovert should stop reading now, and go and workshop some improv or whatever it is you weirdos get up to. The rest of us, sensible people who dread being forced to stand out from the crowd, may continue with a heaviness in our hearts and bowels.

The Sartre quote “Hell is other people” is so often employed it has reached the status of cliché, but I would take it a step further and suggest that “hell is people”. When forced to mix with humans, who present a risk of conversation, I fear I will be forced to discontinue my efforts to become invisible.

This happens regularly. As a person forced to exist in the modern world, I find myself press-ganged into

work-related meetings, professional training courses, lighthearted social events and – argh! – networking, where we are expected to approach strangers and feign interest in whatever balderdash they’re about to utter. And the worst element, the absolute nadir of earthly presence, is the prospect of an icebreaker.

“Let’s go around the room and introduce ourselves.” Please, no. “You’re all going to say one surprising fact about you so we can get to know each other.” Must we? “Everybody has to say two truths and a lie and we’ll guess which is which.” Just why, you horrorshow of a person? “Now we’re going to stand up and collaborate on a piece of art.” Oh, the humanity!

Look, I get the idea. The poor speaker, trainer, facilitator or whatever has to find some way to focus minds on the goal of the event.

I just wish more of them would consider the growing levels of social anxiety in the 21st Century, and find ways to make participation more inclusive.

And yes, there is a serious message about mental health and wellness within this rant – everybody has good and bad days, and we can all take a moment to consider the feelings of those around us.

Life’s overwhelming for us all sometimes. We can help each other through it, and that’s the most meaningful way to break the ice.

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I’d take Sartre a step further and suggest that ‘hell is people’