The Courier & Advertiser (Fife Edition)
Goggle box
Even Ant and Dec can’t save Britain’s Got Talent: The Champions. I’ll be walking my hamster when the next episode airs...
For the love of all things gluten free, what the heck did I just watch?
For some reason, ITV producers have decided to create a version of Britain’s Got Talent on steroids and disguise it as Saturday night entertainment.
Britain’s Got Talent: The Champions hurt my eyes and my ears and at some points I felt as though I was watching the Eurovision Song Contest, which was being hosted by consistent bottom-ofthe-board-ers the UK.
The only thing that made it feel a bit less weird was the fact it was presented by Ant and Dec, who could liven up any programme.
For The Champions, former contestants of Britain’s Got Talent are pitted against their counterparts from international versions of the show. Like in the actual programme, two people are chosen from each round and then compete in the ultimate showdown at the end of the series.
The golden buzzers still exist each week but will be allocated to a specific judge for each round – this first one being for, God help us, Amanda Holden.
But one of the plot twists is that the audience at home isn’t allowed to get a vote. Is it because of Brexit? Is it because of the fact that when lots of countries are involved – such as with Eurovision – people vote politically and not based on talent? Maybe so.
However, it does mean that the finalists will be people chosen by the audiences in the room at the time – namely the people who had the means to travel to London Wembley – rather than being a true representation of the British people by including the opinions of those people who only want to travel as far as their sofa to contribute to the BGT cause.
Representing the Brits was the likes of: series one winner Paul Potts; former six-year-old, Connie Talbot (who confused the judges by performing as her now 18-year-old self); Ashleigh and Sully, the former of which won with the late and great Pudsey back in 2012; and Boogie Storm – the dancing storm troopers who were Simon’s golden buzzer act back in the day.
Up against them was: Bello and Annaliese Nock from America’s Got Talent, a father-daughter daredevil team with strangely Jedward-esque vibes; the Nelson Twins from Australia’s Got Talent, whose humour didn’t quite hit the mark; Bad Salsa, a dancing duo from India’s Got Talent who both competed in the show separately; Kseniya Siminova, a sand artist – who I’m pretty sure appeared on the British show a few years ago – from Ukraine’s Got Talent; and Sacred Riana, a creepy illusionist who won Asia’s Got Talent and stepped straight out of a horror film.
Amanda, always a sucker for a sob story, buzzed through “sandy” while the in-house audience, dubbed “superfans”, bless them, voted to put through Jedward’s dad and his daughter.
The next episode is on tonight and I’ve just remembered I have plans to walk my hamster. What a pity.