Going from one dust-up to another all in a day’s work

Escaping the sandstorm, just, Fiona thinks things are going her way – and then her new, super-duper carpet cleaner arrives...

Well, we finally get home after a nail-biting wait at a Spanish airport. A dust storm hits the Canary Islands. It blows over from Africa and we watch nervously as flight after flight disappears from the information board.

Then comes the announcement. Will passengers heading to Edinburgh please make their way to Gate Number Three.

We hastily gather our belongings. It feels like an evacuation. The steps to the plane are now covered in a layer of fine red dust. Hands are brown. Hair is dusty. Yet the pilot says we are going – and, alleluia, it seems we are.

Engines fire into life. Off we set, speeding down the runway, leaving a rust-coloured island behind. We are the lucky ones. An hour later, all flights to and from Fuerteventura are cancelled. Snow falls as we land in Scotland. But it is a relief to be home. A break can work wonders. Especially with a bit of sun thrown in.

Yet the real relief is for the MacNaughties. Ecstatic at first to see us, then mildly stand-offish as they remember they were left. Abandoned to their fate. For a whole week, you understand…

Back in Blighty, meanwhile, the daily grind kicks in. Unpacking bags. Washing and ironing. Walking doggies in the rain. Washing muddy doggies on return.

But there is some excitement. A day later, a large box arrives by courier. One look and it is obvious what it is. Before we left, I ordered an all-in-one floor and carpet cleaner. Yes, I know it is not everyone’s idea of fun. But I have wanted one of these gadgets for a long time. And it was on special offer…

The chief and I unpack the thing and together we assemble said machine for I am anxious to get started with my new toy. Cleaning liquid and water are poured into the relevant compartments then on it goes to the hall carpet. The one the MacNaughties like to wipe their paws on. Finally, it is switched on and I manage one, majestic sweep of the floor. A mass of dirty water is collecting in the lower part of the apparatus. This thing is magic!

Then there is a cough and a splutter, and my new cleaner conks out. We switch it off. We switch it on. We check all parts are securely attached. Then I call the manufacturer and speak to Paul, who talks me through a series of tests before admitting it is probably

Yes, I know it is not everyone’s idea of fun. But I have wanted one of these gadgets for a long time. And it was on special offer…

faulty. The next day he sends a returns label and instructions to pack it back in the box and post it to the company headquarters. But getting it back in is easier said than done. As I write this, the top end of the machine is still sticking out, which means the courier will probably refuse to take it.

Oh dear! A day has already been wasted on this. I feel we may need a holiday….

Shutterstock. Picture: Fiona and her family had an anxious wait to fly home from the Canary Islands.