Looking forward to a time to honour those we lost

Scots are well known for their send-offs but these are not normal times and so services are far quieter affairs, as Fiona finds out

It is the first time of mixing in a crowd and there is some nervousness. Not that I have been a complete hermit over the past few months. Why, some days have seen me mingling with up to 60 people. But only ever on a computer screen. Via a long-distance Zoom meeting. Now, though, it is time to take the plunge as we face the prospect of seeing each other in person. We are gathering – with social distancing in mind – to say farewell.

Andy Alexander is being remembered for his work with Royal British Legion Scotland. Andy was an area secretary and a national treasurer with the charity that cares for our veterans. And no, he did not die of coronavirus.

Andy was a pillar of the community. As the list of his jobs is read out you wonder how the man ever managed to eat and sleep.

In normal times hundreds would have been there to pay their respects.

But these are not normal times.

So just 20 of us gather outside the Dumfriesshire crem. The hearse pulls up, the coffin is placed before us and the service starts. Scotland has 31 crematoria. The first was built in Glasgow in 1895 and it was certainly needed. Burial space in the second city of empire was in high demand; squalid living and working conditions providing no shortage of customers.

In those days, few chose to be cremated. But by 1950 50% did. And now three out of four of us decide to depart the world this way. Andy leaves to the tunes of Highland Cathedral and A Scottish Soldier – and in his early life he did wander far away for work, but he returned home to the country he loved. I am honoured to be one of the 20 asked. But I do not attend the funeral tea. Indeed, I am not sure there even is one.

Which is a shame. Because that is the time to really remember someone. To have a dram or two and put the world to rights. The Scots are famous for their long goodbyes. They are perhaps not quite in the same league as the Irish. But they are still up there. Indeed, in ancient times a Highland wake was a legendary thing. The stories are numerous and possibly apocryphal. At one funeral the bereaved family was shamed because fewer than 100 gallons of whisky were consumed.

At another it was claimed that mourners were so drunk, they arrived at the grave to find that the corpse had been left behind.

The Scots are famous for their long goodbyes. They are perhaps not quite in the same league as the Irish, but they are still up there

Those were obviously the days. When the MacGregors’ great-greatgreat-great grandfather died in 1822, hundreds followed the cortege up a glen to the burial site.

After which they all went fishing in the loch.

But back to the present. At some stage there will be a chance to properly remember those who have left us...

If you have been affected, I hope it brings some comfort.

Picture: Shutterstock. Highland Cathedral and A Scottish Soldier were played at the funeral.