Jelly wasn’t the only thing wobbling in the tent

Dessert week and the five remaining are not so much cooking with gas as hot air. Sadly there is no obvious star – not even a stellar loser. Last week’s departure of the imperiously gorgeous Lottie left a void in the middle that no piping bag could ever fill, and now only the sweet eccentricities of Hermine constitute entertainment.

Noel remains gauche and irritating. He seems hopelessly adrift between two islands of fame and obscurity, tentatively paddling towards the former yet inexorably pulled back to the latter. He and Matt’s banter is faux surrealist but God won’t witness Dali’s moustache twirling in admiration anytime soon.

Face-painting

Spoon wants to especially when a wooden spoon and saying “Mr see Peter naked” just isn’t funny, Noel later suggested tying up the nice young lad from Edinburgh. Freud would have had a field day.

The technical challenge involved recreating Prue’s favourite Sussex Pond pudding, dating back to the 1700s. In truth there is something slightly feudal about Prue anyway, with that bewildered, pious expression last seen when Theresa May visited “real people” on a housing estate in Kirriemuir, thinking she was saving them from themselves.

Hermine had no truck with such nonsense, proclaiming the pudding “evil” and asking whether anyone even eats this in 2020. It’s actually delicious but the versions here were disastrous, resembling the results from a cat depositing a furball.

The showstopper was something monstrous called a Jelly Art Design Cake. Nauseating tiered jelly alert! Really, what fresh hell could coincide Covid with Brexit, Priti Patel, Johnson, Gove and jelly cake – so many dodgy foundations constructed on wobble and quiver, and all in the same year?

Despite this Hermine’s was stunning, confirming her as star baker. Sadly, Marc went home.

What fresh hell could coincide with Covid, Brexit, Priti Patel, Johnson, Gove and jelly cake?