‘Peter won star baker, but Hermine was robbed’

Patisserie week should have seen gorgeous Hermine soar but, despite her thrall to the powers of the universe, tonight the universe had other plans. Still, she and Peter had remained the two best bakers in the show – and also the nicest.

Laura’s persona as the grittiest gal in Gravesend is tiresome – when this rough diamond challenged the more worldly Hermine because Hermine can pronounce actual French words properly, it’s like little Brexit Britain joyfully closing its borders while demanding chips with everything forever.

Frequent references to Prue’s drinking continue with Hermine saying she raised the alcohol content “to keep Prue happy” while Laura put her rum in a pipette, presumably to speed absorption by the Posh one.

No-nonsense Laura packed a heavy punch into her pastry, charmingly pretending it was Paul’s face. Her own faces tonight were models of resentment and frustration. It was no surprise when the now classic Cheryl Cole© needy, waterless “tears” of emotion threatened to appear without trace.

Matt kept exclaiming the word Pingu, hoping that repetition would lead to someone – ANYONE – laughing. He’s a kind, benign presence and the banter between him and Noel is sweet but the suspicion remains that this duo’s funniest lines are all off camera and more fringe theatre than Broadway.

Lovely Peter’s strawberry and elderflower babas won a coveted handshake from Paul.

The technical challenge was a Horn of Plenty which caused much merriment, not least when silver fox Paul asked 80-year-old Prue if she wanted to try some of his horn. Her withering look perhaps reminded him that a horn is a symbolic, empty vessel, especially encased in over-tight jeans. Dave’s rather excitable version stood out in all the wrong ways while Peter’s won.

Peter deservedly won star baker. Shockingly, Hermine went home. She was robbed!

“Patisserie week should have seen gorgeous Hermine soar