Just what does it take to become a success in being a foster parent?

What is it like to be a foster carer? How does it feel to take someone else’s child into your home? And what is it like to say goodbye?

It is Foster Care Fortnight and we put those questions to a Fife couple who have taken in a dozen children over the last decade.

David and Christine Bartleman, of Cupar, have recently been rewarded for 10 years of commitment by their agency, Care Visions.

Unable to have children of their own but with love to give, they became foster carers after returning home from several years living in Spain and have opened their door to youngsters on both emergency and longterm placements.

We asked them what life is like in their home – which they share with two teenage brothers and a 20month old girl – and what it takes to be a foster carer.

What is it like welcoming a child?

For Christine, welcoming a new child or ‘placement’ is the most exciting part.

She said: “Most carers say they don’t cope well with losing one child. I’m the opposite; I enjoy the next challenge, to see the next child coming though the door, gauge what they’re like, what they like and what they don’t like.”

Care agencies match children with suitable families and David explained: “You will usually have a fair bit of advance warning, ‘this is the child you are going to get, this is their history’ – you get the case notes to review so you can prepare.”

But he added: “You can get a call on a Friday afternoon saying ‘we have an 11-year-old boy, he is one of four siblings, an emergency placement, can you take him?’ Then two years later you’ve still got the same boy.”

What about saying goodbye?

Focusing on the next placement helps Christine deal with losing a child in their care. She said: “I say goodbye, I settle myself with that and I move on quite quickly. I think David probably suffers more emotionally than I do.”

Although many children keep in touch with foster carers they leave behind, the front door closing can be the last carers know of some.

David explained: “You won’t always know how things end up. Some kids might want to keep in touch, some you will never hear from again and because of confidentiality you won’t know what happened in the next stage.”

What are the challenges?

“Fostering isn’t always easy, nobody pretends it is,” said David. “It is a full-time – in the fullest sense of the word – all-encompassing role to take on.

“There are times when it can be not only physically draining but also emotionally and mentally draining.

And the rewards?

David and Christine can see the positive influence they have had on the boys who are with them now.

Christine said: “We are watching them grow and make good choices whereas they might not have made good choices before.”

Christine believes anyone can be a foster carer.

She said: “So long as you have a bit of love in your heart for someone else’s child you can be a carer.”

Cathy Jamieson, Care Visions’ chairperson of children’s services, said: “There are still many children who need foster care and I know that our long-serving foster carers would encourage anyone thinking about it to take the next step and apply – and they would be on hand to offer advice and support.”

NURTURING: Christine and David Bartleman from Cupar, who have fostered for 10 years, enjoy a cuddle with one of the children currently in their care. Picture by Mhairi Edwards.