The Courier & Advertiser (Fife Edition)
Football play goes round the bends
Jim Orr’s first quirky football play was going to be called Wembley ‘67 but theatres didn’t think the name had enough chutzpah.
After it was changed to Bend It Like Baxter to reflect its Fife-born inspiration, Slim Jim’s talismanic qualities and supreme self-confidence – simultaneously alluding to movie hit Bend It Like Beckham and England’s own former golden boy – it set a whole series in motion.
Glasgow-born Celtic diehard Orr later penned the hilarious Bend It Like Brattbakk, touching on his club’s unlikely title-winning season of 1997-98.
He followed that up last year with Bend It Like Bertie – in his words, a “madcap comedy” that switches between the recent past and the mid-1960s.
The titular character in this latest effort is Hoops midfield legend and Lisbon Lion Bertie Auld, who passed away last November aged 83.
Jim points out the work is not a biography and it has a serious point in its highlighting of older adults’ reminiscing group Football Memories.
“The play is about a 50-year-old female Celtic fan in 2019 who’s divorced with two teenage kids and a stressful job.
“Her dad’s in the early stages of Alzheimer’s and she takes him to Football Memories,” he explains.
“Since Bertie’s sad passing, that’s an aspect of the play I’ve extended, so there’s now four or five wee Football Memories sessions in there.
“It has more of a Bertie Q and A than last time, taking a look at different moments of his life. However, the play’s still the play, they don’t detract from it – they’re like vignettes.”
Billy Connolly once quipped that charismatic Auld could have cut it as a stand-up comedian, but Jim only decided to give him voice after hearing the play’s star, real-life comic Des McLean, impersonating him.
Writing the piece, the chartered accountant admits he felt the pressure of living up to previous efforts.
“This one had to be just as good in terms of fact, fiction and fantasy,” he declares.
“When you’re a Celtic fan writing Celtic plays you’ve tonnes of choice, and I ended up going for 1965 and the Scottish Cup run.
“Back then Celtic weren’t a world-famous club, they were nobodies who’d only won the league once in
25 years – it was Lisbon that put them on the map two years later.
“But Bertie came back to the club that January and in every round of the cup, including the final, he was the star man and scored in most of the games.
“So one of the fun things about the play is actually having a go at players.
“If we’d had social media back then all these iconic players would have got slaughtered.
“The play goes from January to April and we end up eighth that season and most of the games in that period we don’t win.
“One of the characters has no time for Jock Stein, so when Celtic get to the final and he doesn’t play Jimmy Johnstone, the reaction is brutal.
“I find it a lot of fun to go back and imagine what people would think back then.
“When you try to go against the grain a wee bit, people like that.”