SWEDE DREAMS MAKE ME HAPPY FOR A WHILE

Rab’s daydreaming of a move to a wee red wooden house next to a Nordic lake, but it would be too cold in winter, and anyway, the logistics would be a nightmare

Whenever I feel I need a little mental escape I look up rural properties for sale in Sweden and also, of late,

Finland.

It’s unfortunate that Vladimir Putin has spoken of invading these countries recently but, if I ever moved to one or other, I’d deal with that minor inconvenience when I came to it. Of course, in reality-style life, I won’t move to Sweden or Finland. Too much of an upheaval.

The thought of moving again in Scotland brings me out in a rash. Moving to Sweden or Finland would be a logistical nightmare.

Also, after the first couple of months, I wouldn’t like it any more and would want to come home.

So, what’s the attraction? The attraction is that it’s perfect. Merry red houses surrounded by trees with no close neighbours. Generally speaking, you get plenty of huts, sometimes a sauna, and might even be next to a lake with your own pier.

Here’s a description of one house I found only last night: “This idyll is

beautifully situated by the lake. Here,

you live peacefully with nature as your nearest neighbour.” Take me to it! All for under £100,000.

The houses are of wood, which I love. But I’m guessing they’d be hard to heat in winter, certainly in the north where temperatures can fall to -40. Brrr!

My favourite YouTube vlogger, Jonna Jinton, lives in such a place and, in the comments below her films, you see folk,

even from the likes of India and Spain, saying they’re going to move when they get the chance.

But I fear they underestimate the cold, remoteness, darkness, and also the amount of work that Jonna and

her husband do just to keep on top of things. You can’t just move there and spend your days skipping through the forest like an elf.

You say: “Never mind Sweden and Finland: what you talkin’ aboot, ya

dunderheid?”

That is a good question, well put. And well, in my life, I’ve met three Finns, and all were magical beings. However, I accept that’s maybe not the best reason for upping sticks. And, while I’ve already learned a teeny smattering of Swedish – mainly words that sound like Scots: hoose, oot, bairns and so on – I fear Finnish would be beyond me.

If I were younger, with a decent income from online-based work, I might have given Sweden a go. YouTube is awash with young people who have made the move. I hope I’m not putting ideas into folks’ heids.

Already, the bargains and lifestyle are being noticed, and prices are slowly rising.

Meanwhile, it’s pleasantly diverting just to look at the houses and land online.

Sometimes, also, I just alight via Google maps on any street in a random small town or village in Sweden or Norway. Unfailingly, they are lovely.

When I visited Norway many years ago, I was actually relieved to encounter, at last, a scuzzy industrial estate, the way one might enjoy rain after days of sunshine.

I’m aware there will be bad places in one or two cities but, on the whole, these look like dreamlands to me. And dreaming, alas, is as far as I plan on taking matters.

NEVER MIND SWEDEN AND FINLAND: WHAT YOU TALKIN’ ABOOT, YA DUNDERHEID?

DREAM HOME: A red wooden house by a lake in Sweden, idyllic yes, but just think of the heating bills in the winter.