Healing power of the horse

Fife-raised former soldier Tam Carroll tells Michael Alexander about his plans to open an equine therapy centre in Perthshire for veterans struggling with post-traumatic stress

Standing on the cliffs near Anstruther in Fife, former soldier Tam Carroll had decided enough was enough – he was going totake his own life. During six years with the British Army including a tour of Iraq, followed by six more working as private security for the Americans, he had seen – and done – some unspeakable things.

Blown up and injured by the Taliban numerous times, he returned home to a hellish existence of drug and alcohol addiction as he struggled to re-integrate into civilian life.

His troubles came to a head in November 2013 when, weary of the severity of the shrapnel injuries to his back and the on-going impact of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) on his mind, the new father found himself alone on the cliffs ready to end his life.

“The best way I can describe it is it was like holding death’s hand and saying let’s roll,” explains Tam, 33, who grew up in Cupar, Fife.

“My main concern was making sure my dog Buddy was ok. I tied him up with a note saying what I had done, why I was doing it and who he should be taken home to.”

And then suddenly a “bolt of lightning” changed everything. Something inside told Tam not to end it all – and that he should get a horse.

“I thought it was crazy and my partner Hazel thought the same when I told her,” adds Tam.

“I’d never had a horse and didn’t know anything about horses. But I purchased Ollie, a 17hh Clydesdale orphan, from a dealer in Stirling, and that is where my journey began – the journey that saved my life.”

Tam started learning about all things equine under the guidance of Karen Paton at WD Stud in Perthshire and won over her farmer husband Jim with his harrowing stories of life on the battlefield.

He now believes so deeply in the power of equine therapy that he has bought a derelict cattle farm near Powmill, in Perth and Kinross, and hopes to turn it into a 38-acre “Warrior Ranch” – a not-for-profit equineassisted human development centre to help other veterans cope with trauma and PTSD.

He is currently self-funding the project but is seeking donations towards rebuilding a roof, as well as classrooms, a tack room, disabled toilets and stables to home the horses.

Tam is being coached to become a “recommended intelligent horsemanship trainer” using the Monty Roberts’ horse whispering technique and is studying equineassisted human development and traumatology with the International Foundation of Equine Assisted Learning (IFEAL) team.

His vision is to teach traumatised veterans horsemanship skills so they can find inner peace and ultimately become useful citizens. There’s much work to be done, funding to be obtained and potential planning hurdles to overcome but it’s Tam’s military experience, and the difficulties that followed, that drives him on.

Following his six years with the Royal Engineers, including deployments to Bosnia and Iraq, he left the army to work in private security with the UN for the USA in Iraq.

The financial rewards were high. He could earn £40,000 “danger money” for a four-week block. Yet such were the dangers he and his colleagues often found themselves sitting ducks and he was blown up several times over the course of six years.

He lost many comrades in Iraq but lost more friends to suicide on their return home. Now he wants to give others hope.

“There are thousands of veterans out there suffering,” he says.

“As an ex combat veteran I can help these guys and girls get out of the maze that is PTSD with the power of the horse leading the way to recovery.”

l Tam’s fundraising page can be found at www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/tamcarroll

The best way I can describe it is it was like holding death’s hand and saying let’s roll

Tam Carroll with Clydesdale horse, Ollie.