The whiTsons’ KiTchen

This was bread week. Cowpats, snails, mushrooms and you don’t want wonky balls, as Liam said.

Whisper it but the Doyenne’s breadmaking skills don’t extend beyond the bread machine but that didn’t stop her expressing some pretty crisp views on yesterday’s competition.

It’s best Danish Sandi Toksvig doesn’t try imitating a Yorkshire accent again and someone should tell her that posh girls like her don’t wear flat caps.

What possessed Noel to wear a blue dress? It might have looked better on flat-cap Sandi, so long as she didn’t trip over the hem.

Yorkshire-born Doyenne was surprised some of the bakers didn’t know what a teacake is. A bit hard, mind you, on Scottish Tom, who thought they were mallow and chocolate – where was the culinary inclusion here?

It was left to Noel to extend the hand of friendship to James but he was modest enough to admit it meant nothing. It’s time there were some more of those fabled Hollywood Handshakes which all the bakers bake for.

Last week the Doyenne thought Flo was skating on thin ice. As granny to granny she was sad to see her go but not even 40 years of bread baking could save her.

Have you noticed the way Prue Leith has of pursing her lips which makes it clear that Bake Off isn’t for sissies? “Inside I’m crying” and “I’m dying inside” – if they didn’t realise it before, the bakers are beginning to realise it now!

Three down, six more to go and Noel owes for that broken cup.