In 2018, satire can become real at a moment’s notice

There are times when the world seems too weird for words, and the sense of unreality is inescapable. Many of us live in a permanent state of outrage and confusion, thanks to a combination of history’s most intricate communications networks and the rise to power of world leaders with less brains than a haggis supper. Being flummoxed by the news is routine.

Meanwhile, it’s easy to set up pretend news sites, so not all fake news is propaganda; much of it is satire. As I write, The Onion is featuring a headline “Woman nervously reaches for cell phone as suspicious black man tells her today’s soup is minestrone” and The Daily Mash is proclaiming “Desperate TSB customers using barter system to pay for food.”

Each of those is bitterly hilarious, I’d suggest, because they’re only just an exaggeration. In 2018, satire can become real at a moment’s notice. Six months ago, “President insists porn star payment doesn’t count as campaign spending” would have been content for Saturday Night Live, not the New York Times.

It’s like every day is April Fool’s Day, my most hated day of the year. In the news business, which has telling the truth as its very foundation, being weakly funny one day a year by writing lies is, in my professional opinion, counter-productive. The most fun I’ve had related to April Fool’s Day was banning it from newspapers.

Now, however, unbelievable news never goes away. Last week, UK media reported on the latest craze among middle-class women: eating MDMA with brie. Yes, cheesy ecstasy is a thing now. Also, Lionel Richie supports St Johnstone and I didn’t hallucinate that.

Elsewhere, a Glasgow couple held a macaroni-and-cheese-themed wedding, complete with macaroni confetti and the best man in a pasta costume. (They’re enthusiasts who run a mac-and-cheese festival).

And the British public stumped up a million quid so two indescribably wealthy and privileged people could get married.

You couldn’t make this stuff up.

It’s like every day is April Fool’s Day