Menopause café suits us to a tea

A taboo-busting cafe that started in Perth makes the most of one of Mother Nature’s less welcome gifts. By Caroline Lindsay

An unusual pop-up café that started in Perth has been so popular that it’s inspired similar gatherings across the UK – and even as far afield as Toronto. Founded by counsellor and coach Rachel Weiss, the very first Menopause Café took place last year and was such a success that it sparked a Menopause Festival, filled with events for all ages and genders throughout April and May.

“When we organised our first ever Menopause Café, we knew there would be interest but we had no idea how much demand there would be for this sort of forum,” explains Rachel, owner of Rowan Consultancy, who has also run Death Cafes.

“I watched a Kirsty Wark programme called Menopause and Me, and two things struck me,” recalls Rachel.

“Firstly, I was 51 and bang on the typical age to start the menopause. Secondly, no one talks about it. I’m the kind of person who likes to know but nobody really tells you about preparing for menopause.”

There are now 24 pop-up cafes across Scotland, England and Toronto and Rachel was thrilled when Kirsty Wark visited last autumn’s event in Perth. But, Rachel stresses, it’s not a support group for the menopause.

“It’s for people to chat and share experiences,” she says.

This simple format can have a remarkable effect in the workplace and help employers recognise the importance of supporting staff affected by the menopause.

“There are more and more menopausal women in the workplace and because we as women aren’t great at talking about it, that makes it difficult for men to talk about it, too,” Rachel points out.

With the emphasis on fun, events to date have included Dr Laura Jarvis of Tayside Menopause Clinic hosting question-and-answer sessions on the menopause, followed by a sing-a-long with singer, songwriter and composer Debra Salem, followed by a cuppa and cake.

Audiences also listened with rapt attention to style tips from image specialist Edith Adams, who explained why colour matters when you want to feel better, how your style personality influences your clothes choices, and essential tips to love your body.

“A lot of my clients are in the 45-55 age group and they tell me their shape is changing or they’re struggling with hot flushes,” says Edith, the go-to woman for top tips on how to make the most of our bodies while minimising any challenges.

“I focus on well being, symptoms of the menopause and how to dress a body you might not like any more,” she continues. “I suggest ways to make the best of your attributes, how to cope with thinning hair and dry skin, accentuating the positives and not focusing on the negatives.

“I want to give as much info as I can in the time I have, on colours and styles of garments. But I want to hear what you are experiencing and share that with my clients.”

Rachel agrees that this once-taboo subject is now out in the open.

“Essentially, we are seeing a gradual shift in the mindset of both women and men, that this is a topic that affects us all and it deserves discussion instead of pretending it isn’t happening or being ashamed to talk about it,” she observes.

With Menopause Café now seeking charitable status as a social franchise, what started in Perth is slowly being replicated throughout the UK, and the Perth team have produced a guide to support both individuals and workplaces in running their own events.

“There hasn’t been one in Dundee yet, so if anyone is interested in starting one...” says Rachel.

“We hope the Menopause Cafés, and the Festival, help women be better prepared and to feel less isolated,” she continues.

“It can be an anxious time for women and once they realise they’re not going mad and can share their experiences, that makes a big difference.

“Women in their 70s come along, which gives others hope as they can see there is life after the menopause!

“We’d like to get across the message that it’s not all doom and gloom – there are plus points to growing older.” For future Menopause Cafe events and How to Run Your Own Menopause Cafe Guide visit www.menopausecafe.net

Email menopausecafe@outlook.com if you would like to receive the newsletter, which contains listings of upcoming events.