Tim Hortons craze is Krispy Kreme all over again – give novelty projects a rest

Picture the scene: it’s 2013, you’re in the last gasp of 17, stuck in the back end of nowhere, Falkirk, and your best pal just got a car. Where can we go? The only place worth going, obviously – the new Krispy Kreme shop at Hermiston Gait.

It may sound small. But for us, freedom was a previously unthinkable 35-minute drive to pick from a dizzying array of iced doughnuts.

That novelty-sweetened mission constituted the perfect teenage day out. And as we all piled into the second-hand Megane, all limbs and sticky fingers, we were sure we’d go back time and time again.

We never did.

It wasn’t that the doughnuts weren’t good. They were OK, as far as cold, conveyor-belt doughnuts go.

It was just that after the first visit, the novelty was gone.

We’d been there, done it, and – most importantly – got the Facebook check-in. (This was before the days of “pics or it didn’t happen”, OK?)

We were more concerned with being on trend than consuming the products.

And it’s a cycle I’ve seen time and time again since with American-implant takeaways.

Some have stood the test of time, of course.

Mcdonald’s and Starbucks are fast food fixtures here just as much as they are across the pond.

KFC made it work and Pizza Hut is still trundling along.

Five Guys is objectively superior to all (and has the price tag to prove it).

But from where I’m standing, many attempts of big-name chains to cement themselves in Dundee over past few years have failed pretty miserably.

Reform Street in particular is an elephant’s graveyard of “grand openings” gone by.

RIP to Fatburger, purveyors of chicken wings.

And from the looks of the chronically empty TGI Friday’s which replaced it, that particular Reform Street unit is cursed.

Oh, and remember Taco Bell? Has anyone actually been back yet?

Or did the necessary snaps (accompanied by the signature Mean Girls caption) get taken on opening weekend?

Now, in the latest instalment of Chain Restaurants We Didn’t need, Canadian outfit Tim Hortons will open a drive-thru down Craigie way.

Never mind that we’re all supposed to be making fewer unnecessary car journeys, to help save our rapidly overheating planet. Or that small local businesses and eateries are already fighting for their livelihoods every day as the pandemic ripples continue to be felt.

Forget that we’re living in a city where folk are crying out for swimming pools, cinemas and, more than anything, affordable housing.

Or that between reports of unruly youths and the ever-present Gull Issue, places like this almost always become hotbeds of litter and noise.

The powers that be have, in their infinite wisdom, granted permission for another uber-commercialised food franchise. “For the economy”, no doubt.

It’s not that I have anything against Tim Hortons; it just simply isn’t what this city needs.

It certainly doesn’t fit with council group Sustainable Dundee’s pillars of “environment” (hello exhaust fumes and rubbish) and “healthy society” (ah yes, more processed food).

And if its predecessors are anything to go by, it will boom unbearably for a couple of weeks, clog up the surrounding gutters with “iconic” packaging that folk will discard after snapping the token photo, and fade into a dwindling background obscurity.

I hope not.

But if planners continue to buy into the idea of novelty while preaching sustainability, then consumers will follow suit.

It’s no use braying about a cleaner, greener and healthier future with largescale innovations like the Eden Project, and then continuing to bring in big-money corporations to our home soil.

Dundee City Council must set an example by prioritising the wellness and sustainability of the city over a quick cash boost.

But here, at least Timmy H might give some bored teenagers a memorable day out.

The Dundee city centre Christmas tree caused a fair bit of controversy last year, when it was moved from City Square.

But I was pleased to see that this year, instead of one being brought in on a platform, a new tree was simply planted outside the Steeple Church. The “living Christmas tree” will remain there yearround, and be decorated each festive season.

It’s a really simple idea, but a great one. This way the same tree can be used each year, cutting down on spending and waste – and as it grows, it will become more impressive with time.

Plus, during the rest of the year, it will be acting as a natural air purifier in one of the most traffic-congested parts of the town, as well as another wee home for urban wildlife.

Whoever made that decision, I tip my hat to you.

New outlet just simply isn’t what this city needs

OPENING: Tim Hortons is the latest chain restaurant business to open as local eateries are already fighting for survival.