ROOM 101

Green tops

They don’t spin – spinners don’t bowl on them. There are no grounds in particular that I don’t like, but there’s so many green tops in the UK, especially in the early season. My ideal pitch is just a turning track, a nice September wicket in England. TCP verdict: The vagaries of English pitches – much like the weather – hold a special place in county cricket, so I’m afraid you’ll just have to keep it tight in April and hope for the best.

Sunderland AFC

I am a big Newcastle fan so naturally I dislike Sunderland! My mother Janet was born in Newcastle, so I just went with my heritage. My grandfather followed Newcastle, too. I have followed them for a long time, I think I got my first Newcastle jersey when I was six or seven.

I have been to two games up at St James’ Park since I have been over. I went to see the game against Sunderland last season, which we drew 1-1 and Aleksandar Mitrovic scored the leveller right at the end – though it was just before we got relegated.

TCP verdict: Two big rivals are like yin and yang, you can’t remove one without wrecking the natural balance of things. Admit it – you’d miss Sunderland just a little, wouldn’t you?

Left-handed batsmen

They are unorthodox and difficult to bowl to, especially being a leggy and spinning it into them, you tend to get hit out of the park a lot. James Franklin at Middlesex is especially difficult to bowl to, he just knocks me out of the ground fairly regularly. There aren’t really any left-handers that I do like bowling to, but if I had to choose one it would be Nick Gubbins – I may as well throw Gubbo under the bus! TCP verdict: I’m afraid you’re going to be denied for the third time, Nathan – England have too many talented lefties, without mentioning Captain Cook, to get rid of them. Even if you are an Aussie.