Jimmy’s swing, Marsh mastery, and Warne on the Waughpath
Adam Collins and Geoff Lemon, our Aussie journo double act, digest the ups and downs of this week’s Adelaide Test and find some intriguing talking points ... both on and off the field of play
Geoff Lemon: What a delight. A couple of days in, that Test looked like it could have been a dire non-contest. Then England dug deep and came up with diamonds. For a couple of days. Then went back to mud. But we’ll remember the diamond bit. There’s a song that suggests they last a while. Adam Collins: James Anderson was beautiful like diamonds in the sky, to quote another. Not a sentence I expected to be writing off the top, but you took me there. I mentioned to you during the week that my infatuation with Jimmy’s outswinger in 2003 was such I used him as my MSN Messenger display photo. GL: It seems like this column is less a professional exercise and more an opportunity for you to save on therapy. AC: Is this the bit where I tell you about the vivid dream I had the other night where I was umpiring my first Test match without a qualification? Or the recurring one where I can bowl, only to wake up in tears when I realise my shoulder will never allow it again? GL: You told me you had one about Greg Matthews, but you never offered any detail as to the genre. Perhaps some things should stay mysteries. I thought we saw the Anderson we were supposed to see, the one who was going to relish Adelaide’s new conditions and show off every bit of the skill at his disposal. But sadly we saw him an innings too late. AC: At least they take to Perth the belief they can bowl Australia out. Even if Steve Smith did stack the deck in their favour with the follow-on that wasn’t. I know we’re at odds on this, but surely if there is a time to make a mockery of the opposition, it’s at this stage of an Ashes series? Not without risk, sure, but hardly the most taxing conditions the Australian pace trio has bowled in of late. GL: I tend to go the other way. Surely it’s more dispiriting to have to bowl for another few sessions, watch the oppo make fun runs, and then chase a hopeless 600 at the tail end of the match? I know it didn’t work out that way, but teams messing up in cricket is hardly anything new. We have to judge the tactic on the information available to Sniffer Smith at the time, and he had the chance to really wear England down. Just a shame about that swinging ball… it’s a familiar Australian tale. AC: The script the Australian cricket top brass always read from. Whenever an opponent can get it swinging or spinning, it sends Smith’s side loopy. The player copping most of the stick so far this summer is Peter Handscomb. I enjoyed Jimmy’s smile when saying of the home number five: “Our plan is working.” Sure is. Hard to believe how quickly his star has faded. Looks a lock to miss at Perth. For team balance and all that, sure. But this has all happened very quickly. GL: Yeah, I’m not into it. People were sacking Handscomb after one innings at Brisbane. He’s had three innings. It’s bizarre. Cricket is a game where failure is more common than success. The best in the business have a good innings every three or four. Anyone can have a few low scores. Sure, Handscomb looked all over the shop at stages, but if he was good enough to crack the Test team then surely there’s a fair chance he’s good enough to find a solution. At least he deserves the latitude to have a shot. AC: Where’s the fun in that, though? Sack ’em all and let God (or Steve Waugh) sort it out. Did you hear Shane Warne sledging him on television this week for being a red-ink merchant to protect his average? I know this is a bit Off Broadway, but what an utter circus that all is. And I’m a Mark Waugh guy way back. It’s not the first time Warne has had a crack at this line of sniping, he does it on Sky a bit in the UK. But in Australia? What a guy. GL: Definitely not the first time I’ve
People were sacking Handscomb after one innings. Cricket’s a game where failure is more common than success
heard that. Some jukeboxes only have a handful of tunes. But pretty sad when you hang onto a grudge for so long, and sad when you refuse to credit someone’s actual tangible accomplishments when the evidence is right there for all to see. AC: Well, like Shaun Marsh. It couldn’t have been that easy for you to sit down and bash out about 9,000 words after he made his wonderful century on day two. It had to be written. GL: I quite like being wrong. It’s character-building. And it reminds you that none of us really know anything at all. That’s an important part of the empirical method. He used to be a sketchy player, but he’s done the business a number of times the last couple of years. He’s had more shots at the big time than others, but that’s a problem with selection policy, not the players chosen. Now he’s put together two masterful Ashes knocks in a row, getting his team out of the fire both times. AC: And now he has his brother back in the team to ride shotgun. I see in the crystal ball a pair of tons on the home deck in Perth to secure the Ashes. Dare to dream, Geoff. Dare to dream. GL: If Greg Matthews is in it, I double dare you.