When Bradman turned it round for the Aussies
It’s not the despair. I can take the despair. It’s the hope I can’t stand. The words of John Cleese in
Clockwise ring truer than ever after Australia rapidly dashed those tiny forlorn hopes on the fifth day at Adelaide. At least this time the blotting out of hope on the last day was mercifully quick, snuffed out immediately as Root and Woakes went straight away.
And, yes, that tiny glimmer of hope is immediately replaced by another even tinier one, as we can all tell ourselves stories. It’s not actually impossible to come back from two down with three to play. Australia did it as recently as 1937. Well, admittedly England won the first at Brisbane when Australia got caught on a quite horrible wicket and were out for 58 in 12.3 (8-ball) overs.
The second was a huge victory by an innings and all seemed good. But England never had a sniff after that, the Sydney Test seeing Australia virtually reverse the batting order and Bradman batting at seven (he scored 270). At Adelaide England managed a first innings lead, then Bradman made 212. Come the decisive Test and England (though managing to get Bradman for only 169) lost by an innings and 200, just taking a timeless match into the fifth day.
There are just enough triumphs of hope to keep us all crazy. There was Headingley, 1981 (as long as we forget that the odds of 500-1 looked reasonable). But, of course, that just makes it worse, because the unreasonable optimist in you – the one that tells you the glass is half full when there’s a mouthful left – has something to point to.
After all, every record has broken an old one. Just because something hasn’t happened before doesn’t mean it can’t happen now. Every day brings news of strange new records from faraway places (and they don’t come much more faraway than Perth).
And, of course, it all matters, even though Ashes series come along as often as buses these days (more often than rural buses in Suffolk, rather). It still matters enough that there are four pages of cricket in the Guardian rather than the usual grudging website only.
Perhaps the CPS will give us a Christmas present and Ben will save us…perhaps James Vince will discover the leave…perhaps the captain will channel his inner Kohli and discover how to turn 65 into 200…perhaps Gary Ballance or Mason Crane will come into the team and turn it all round.
When I was young I would have got my Owzat game from its box to put things right with a bit of judicious nudging of the roller.
Will Day One in Perth have provided that much needed impetus?