Would’ve been close in deluge
ever seen wind or rain. “What is this… magic… sky juice?” Heads cocked to one side like a puzzled dog. I’m hearing a curator doing an interview in a Scooby Doo voice.
I’ve worked out what I love about the joint since we last talked. It’s a ground of my youth. A bit s**t, in short. More of that red-hot content for my therapist to trudge through. It was a neat find this week that the bench from Notting Hill has permanent residency in the park next to the WACA. A loved-up fella bought it for his girlfriend, shipped it over, then they broke up. So he donated it to council. How neat? I’ve got a bloke emailing Hugh Grant for me in an effort to now try and buy it myself – to leave in perpetuity where is now, of course.
You… know that Hugh Grant doesn’t own all the props in his movies, right? If you want to buy the Millennium Falcon you don’t hit up Chewbacca. Not sure I understand buying something in order to leave it in Perth, either, but I’ve seen the lengths you’ll go to get a pair of Mark Waugh’s ODI trousers. Anyway, the WACA is done. It was fitting that as we filmed our Final Word video late on the fifth night, the Soviet-style light towers shut down on international cricket for the final time. And torrential rain set in, well past any use to England. Big red lines drawn under everything. And it was fitting that Western Australia’s state
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captain saw off the joint with a knock for the ages.
I just want Hugh to give me a hand, you know? Loves his cricket. So does Mitch Marsh again. He said after India, when his shoulder exploded and his bat didn’t, that he thought he might not ever get back. He certainly never expected to be here this summer. I wrote here last week that I had a feeling this might happen. That in these conditions, in this context, he might go bananas. I’ve never been so happy to be right. Lovely guy, incredible striker of the ball. But now, best of all, a proper Test batsman.
Well, a batsman with a proper Test score. Even his coach said he has to back this one up. But this one was magnificent. He’d just made a ton and a 90 on this ground for WA in recent weeks, and the sheer power with which he crashed his 181 in the Test was as elemental as the storms that followed. No slogs, proper shots, but shots of the anti-tank variety. He almost overshadowed Steve Smith – poor bloke makes a double hundred as captain to lead an Ashes win, and we can’t squeeze in a mention. It’s ok, he’ll do something else absurd next week.
Probably just lead Australia to a 5-0 Ashes win in his first series in charge and end up with 700 runs. That’d be just like him. But don’t let that ruin your Christmas.
The Final Word Cricket Podcast is now out through the usual channels
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