SHANE WATSON PEOPLE WAT C H I N G

‘Bodyguard’ stars Richard Madden and Keeley Hawes prove the dangers of not paying attention to the after-dark rules

Oooh. There was some excitement, and raised eyebrows, when these photographs revealed that Richard Madden (the bodyguard from Bodyguard) had been spotted with his married co-star (Keeley Hawes), having dinner at Scott’s. How disappointing when it emerged that they weren’t actually dining à deux. A lucky escape, we thought. For a moment there it looked like a clear breach of official protocol for dining with people who are not your wife/ husband/lover.

To be clear, we are not babies. We don’t subscribe to the Mike Pence “never dine alone with a woman” rule, certainly not. Then again, in the case of Hawes and Madden, the circumstances are somewhat unusual. These two actors have only been playing the sexiest couple on TV for the past few weeks, getting naked together in a hotel room, and sometimes in the doorway between their adjoining bedrooms. Yes, they are acting. Yes, they have been in similar positions many times over the years (though he may not have been quite so butt-naked). Even so. Dinner, at night? And him with his shirt unbuttoned? Good thing screenwriter Jed Mercurio was there to chaperone them.

It’s all a reminder of just how easily conclusions are jumped to, when partners are away, if you don’t follow the after-dark rules to the letter:

Don’t go out à deux, as a general rule, unless there is a very good reason, such as one of you is the other one’s agent, or the other two are stuck behind an overturned lorry on the M4 – in which case postpone. Why not consider having lunch instead? Or a drink. What happened to a quick drink after work on your bus route home?

If you are meeting for a quiet dinner, don’t go somewhere flash and sexy with nightclub lighting and private corners and an atmosphere of intrigue. Go to Nando’s Or Byron Hamburgers. Go somewhere you would happily take your children. Maybe take them too.

Do tell everyone what you are doing, especially your partner or partners, well in advance. Don’t not bother to mention it because we are all grown ups and blah blah blah… Tell them about the lunches, too.

Do wear your exercise kit – as Phoebe Waller-Bridge did recently when meeting Jake Gyllenhaal (in a restaurant, à deux) – so we were none of us in any doubt that it was “just business”. That’s the rule. Don’t wear the dress that is

one knee that twists inwards), the bandy Kate Moss, the bouncy, criss-cross stepping Shalom

Harlow (you remember her, back in the Nineties?)

Stella Tennant goes hips first, shoulders back. Hours of fun: I am not kidding. known in the marriage as your “pulling dress” or, in his case, the sexy shirt. Don’t wear your special undies, obviously. Special undies in this context would be very incriminating. You’d be bang to rights, basically.

Don’t be ordering oysters. Anyway, don’t share food. At all.

Don’t be really late leaving and in need of an arm to lean on, and one around the waist, at the very least.

Safe dining.