As another Ashes whitewash looms, it is time for a revamp

Any event that asks fans to fly for 24 hours or stay up until 2am at home to see the first ball bowled needs more than tradition to keep its audience happy. In their current imbalanced state, the Ashes are asking too much of their audience. In this age of wandering interest in sport, predictability is not a great look.

Across Tests in Brisbane, Adelaide and Perth, I found myself making mental notes of how the Ashes might evolve to counter-act the modern pattern of Australia winning in Australia, and England winning in England.

At the Ashes out here, you see an older, settled section of society who are content with the way things are. Their memories stretch back decades, their tastes are set. There is more to the Ashes heritage than mere results. If the kids want a smartphone-shaped, digitalised, neon night out, they can go to Big Bash cricket, which steams on to Australia’s menu just as Australia and England prepare for deadrubber Tests in Melbourne and Sydney.

The first thing to say about the Ashes is that they are intoxicating. They inflict almost sadistic pressure on the players (and from that, frankly, flows much of the drama). If in doubt, consider Joe Root, Mark Stoneman and especially Jimmy Anderson having their lids smashed by Aussie bouncers, Steve Smith’s annexation of the crease, or the unplayability of Josh Hazlewood during his best spells.

Each Ashes Test is a supreme collective effort but also a raucous trial of 22 individuals, with no provision for mercy, and the looming threat that each might lose his credibility and his Test career. All this, against a whole library of memories and history, while the legends of past confrontations pack into commentary boxes or circulate as grandees. In Australia, especially, Ashes cricket expresses the country’s resistance to colonial domination but also the pride of state, city and community.

Secretly, the English envy this Australian unity, the clarity of their mission to smash the Poms. Our phones boil with news of the latest Brexit battles or freeze over with weather reports from home. England’s fans are having a nice holiday, of course, but escaping an