‘This has been the toughest period of my life’
For Steve Bruce, facing the play-offs is ‘a bit of an escape’ following death of his parents
The sorrow follows Steve Bruce everywhere he goes, the grief all-consuming. To lose one parent is traumatic enough; to lose both in the space of a few weeks is crushing. For Bruce – whose mother, Sheenagh, died last Friday, just 88 days after his father, Joe, also passed away – football briefly appeared inconsequential.
The two constants; the two biggest inspirations in his life have gone, cruelly taken from him, one after another. But he is back at work, taking training as usual this week, preparing his Aston Villa team for the most important game of his reign, tomorrow’s Championship play-off semi-final first leg at Middlesbrough.
It has been a relief to be around the players and coaching staff again, a welcome distraction from mourning. Life must go on and, as his wife Janet has reminded him, football is his life.
“There is no question it’s difficult to be preparing for a game of football, that’s for sure,” said Bruce, his voice already cracking with emotion. “Only those who have lost their parents will know what it is like. It is horrific, it is hard and it breaks your heart, it really does. To lose my dad in February, just days after my mum had a huge stroke, it has, without a doubt, been the toughest period of my life.
“It has been a long struggle for Mum, but she finally lost her battle last week. You know, I’m not one of these where football is everything in my life. It never has been and there have always been things that are more important to me.
“But, if anything, the football, going to work, it has been a bit of an escape, if that’s the right word.
“The grief has been allconsuming at times, I can’t deny it, it has been the most difficult three or four months of my life. I’m not going to pretend anything else, to be stronger than I am, it has been incredibly hard to go through.
“To lose one parent is devastating, but to lose two in the space of a few weeks, two people who were a huge inspiration to me and a massive part of my life and everything that I have achieved…”
A pause is needed. A sharp intake of breath. Bruce continues: “It was so unexpected, especially Mum, she was as fit as a flea. It’s cruel, but there you go…
“It’s the little things, you know. On a Friday, my dad would always speak to me and he would want to know the team. We’d have a chat about it. That’s gone. I miss him…
“I think about the possibility of going to Wembley with Aston Villa and I know my mum will be there in spirit. She used to love a day out at Wembley, she really did. My dad, not so much, he wasn’t a huge fan of those Wembley trips, but she loved it. She would say, ‘come on now Steve, a day out at Wembley will be lovely’.
“This has rocked me to the bones, my mum having a horrendous brain haemorrhage on Jan 29 and my dad passing away on
‘It’s the little things. My dad always wanted to know the team’
Feb 6, I didn’t see that coming. It doesn’t matter if you are a football manager or driving a truck for a living, it isn’t something you can deal with easily. But you have to carry on and that is what I will do. I just hope we have something to celebrate at the end of the month, because that is what they would have wanted.
“My wife, I have to say, I hope I can be as strong and as good as she has been when she needs me. I hope I can be as good to Jan’s parents as she was to mine, because she has been truly remarkable. She is so strong, she has been there hour after hour by my mum’s bedside. She is a remarkable person. I have come to expect that, but we should never take that for granted.”
It would be heartless not to want Bruce to win the play-offs again, a feat that would secure him a fifth promotion to the Premier League as a manager, given all he has been through. But he knows football does not work like that. Middlesbrough will be just as