Southgate: Dealing with penalty miss is still tough for me

Gareth Southgate has revealed the impact on his mental health of missing a penalty at Euro ’96 and losing his job at Middlesbrough in 2009.

The England manager, speaking to the Duke of Cambridge in support of the Heads Up campaign, described the loss of self-esteem when sacked from his first managerial role at Middlesbrough, in the context of job losses following the coronavirus pandemic.

In the six-minute interview, filmed at the Sandringham estate, he says his penalty miss against Germany at Euro ’96 was the toughest moment of his career.

“When you’ve messed things up like I had, you realise that is professionally about as difficult as you’re going to face, it almost liberates you to say ‘OK, let’s just attack life’ and know the negative consequences that could be there,” he said.

“Similarly when I was a young manager and I lost my job. The loss of self-esteem for anyone losing their job – and a lot of people are going to experience that in the next months sadly – is a huge blow. You don’t know how to talk to your family about it. You walk down the street and assume people are looking at you. The inner voice in your head, which is such a key to everybody’s well-being, is running away with itself and catastrophising.”

Southgate, 49, missed the penalty at Wembley 24 years ago that denied England a place at the European Championship final. He leant on advice from Stuart Pearce, who missed at the World Cup six years earlier, on what to expect.

“I remember going back to the hotel and having dinner with Stuart Pearce, who lived through what I was going to live through,” Southgate

Low point: Gareth Southgate walks away after his penalty miss in the Euro 96 semi-final

said. “He was able to give me information of what the next months will be like and what I might experience. Looking back that was invaluable.

“Without doubt, when I look back, that professionally is the most challenging experience I’ve been through. It was the biggest game for 40 years and the country was on the tidal wave of emotion and good feeling. You walk away from the

stadium feeling that, ultimately, you are the person who is responsible for that finishing. I never felt anger, actually I just felt regret, remorse, responsibility.

“To a small degree that still lives with me, to have failed under pressure, under that huge spotlight is hard professionally to take.

“It’s tough because even now I still have regrets for the team I played with. So, although I’ve had elements of resurrection and redemption, the team I played with missed the opportunity to win a major tournament and those guys didn’t get another chance … We’ve been sat at home all summer and everyone is playing those damn games! The reality is, we have to face those things, and we can’t hide from them. I can’t hide from the fact that happened.

“Then I have a decision in how I approach dealing with it and time has given me the opportunity to put that into better perspective.

“What we’ve been through in the last few months, where does missing a penalty have any importance in the overall scheme of life?

“As a manager I realise I have to step up even more and make sure, to begin with our own players are cared for, but can we affect the wider game?”

Southgate discusses with the Duke the need for people to discuss their mental health without fear.

“I think there is very often this feeling ‘I’m the only one, there’s nowhere to go’ and some of the most successful people in the world have had these issues or have problems with self-confidence, self-belief. It doesn’t have to be an extreme case,” he said.

“There are various issues with people’s mental health, that can affect how they feel or how they perform and it’s making sure that we don’t feel that there’s a stigma for people, that it’s acceptable to look for help.”