Why I am passio LGBTQ+ educat Nate about ion in schools
Olympic hockey champion Kate Richardson-walsh wants to see an end to homophobic and transphobic bullying in playgrounds and classrooms
As Helen and I made our way down the line of journalists, before the start of the Olympic Games in Rio, we were struck by the fact that almost all of them wanted to ask about our relationship and not the hockey we were there to play.
Our relationship was neither new or news to us. However, we understood that many in the LGBTQ+ community around the world still live in daily fear for their lives and that this was an important opportunity to be ourselves fully.
I do not recall ever learning about the LGBTQ+ community at school. I remember the words “gay” and “lesbian” being thrown about as pejorative terms pretty regularly. It is very likely that I would have joined in, and I say that as someone who was surrounded by women of all sexualities playing in my mum’s hockey team.
Yet even knowing those wonderful women was not enough of an education for me to understand that using a label in a disparaging way towards another human being was not just wrong, but homophobic.
Looking back, I feel very lucky that I grew up around women of different sexualities.
I felt this was a privilege long before I began my relationship with my wife, Helen. To me seeing someone in love and happy was all that mattered. I grew up thinking that people could fall in love with whoever they wanted, and that seemed right and good to me.
It breaks my heart to know that my experience is not the norm. Almost half of all LGBTQ+ pupils (45 per cent) are being bullied for being who they are, according to Stonewall’s 2017 British School Report. That number rises to
64 per cent for trans pupils. Prejudice and discrimination of all types have been on the increase over the past year, and my trans brothers and sisters in particular are facing horrific levels of abuse on a daily basis. This is not about freedom of speech. This is about hate speech and should not be tolerated. At our most basic level as human beings, we are all of one race. Yet many millions of people choose to violently discriminate, harass and murder those who do not look the same, sound the same, or love the same, every single day. The solution is not an easy answer that can be addressed in one article, but how we educate ourselves and our young people is a good place to start. I say this as someone who wishes I had spoken out in the past. Over the years Helen and I received homophobic abuse through the post, and in person – as have probably all who identify somewhere in the LGBTQ+ rainbow. When journalists questioned Helen and me on whether we were doublebarrelling our surnames to make a statement, we laughed it off because it seemed so ridiculous. Now I look back and see that I missed a chance to educate. Would that reporter have asked the same question of heterosexual couples? Simply by questioning our surname, people make our same-sex marriage different and less than a heterosexual marriage. They are othering us and that makes me feel really uncomfortable.
A taxi driver once asked me if I thought it was “a bit wrong” that my captain was “getting off ” with one of her team-mates. I kick myself almost every day about instances like this in the past where I have smiled anxiously and moved the conversation on as quickly as humanly possible because I was afraid of speaking up for myself.
I realise now that I can be a catalyst for change when I use my voice to break down homophobic stereo- types. The more we interact with people who are different to us, the more we experience life in its fullest form. That is why it was important to see Nicola Adams appear on Strictly Come Dancing in the first same-sex dance
partnership, staying true to her values as a proud gay woman. And when athletes such as Megan
Rapinoe, Caster Semenya and Abby Wambach use their platform and speak their truth it makes me feel more seen, heard and understood. I am so grateful to these women for “usualising” our place in society and celebrating our differences.
For me, education is the starting place to tackle all forms of discrimination. It can address the fears we have around issues we do not understand. And it helps each of us to speak up, either loudly or softly, against discrimination and abuse when we see, hear or feel it.
Helen and I have been into many schools to give talks on various subjects. Whether we mention our relationship specifically or not, we are there as a couple, and proudly so. We are not there to promote our relationship, our existence will not impact upon or change people’s sexuality. We are just being ourselves in the hope it will help at least one other person be brave enough to be their whole self.
But working specifically on LGBTQ+ education in schools is an area in which I feel privileged to play a part. We need initiatives such as LGBT+ History Month to start a conversation, because when we are not educated by those around us of the beauty and struggle in our difference we are never getting the full picture. Working with Schools Out UK and LGBT+ History Month, the Proud Trust has created an education pack called The Rainbow Flag Award Classroom – a set of school lessons with the stories of LGBTQ+ lives sprinkled throughout to educate the next generation.
As Rachel Williams, who helped to create the pack for the Proud Trust, explains: “It’s important the LGBT+ young people that exist in all of our schools see themselves represented in the education they receive. By highlighting the rich history of the LGBT+ community, and the huge struggles that have been overcome along the way, we can identify the gaps in equality that still exist, and encourage all young people to use their very important voices to instigate change that still needs to happen.”
To connect as a society we must understand ourselves, our own history and the lived experience of people who are different to us. We may never get to a place of fully understanding or maybe even fully accepting, but through education and knowledge I believe we can at least be kind to each other.
I am proud of who I am, and who I am in love with. But as a cisgendered, white, middle-class, able-bodied, gay woman I need to put a lifetime of work into listening and being empathetic to all that I perhaps may never fully understand. I need to appreciate that what has gone before has impacted me to my benefit and has impacted others to their detriment.
Yes, there will be times we are all uncomfortable to speak the truth for fear of our physical safety. I am also not condemning every single LGBTQ+ person to a life of public challenge, people should live their lives however they want to.
Being out and being publicly out are different and both should be respected. The most important consideration, and the only thing I want for all LGBTQ+ people, is for them to be happy from the inside out. Those who hold positions of power and influence must take a stand. I believe we can all do more and I believe we must all do our best because to give anything less is to sacrifice this gift of life.
GB’S most successful female boxer stayed true to her values as a proud gay woman in the first same-sex dance pairing on
‘As long as I don’t feel any pains in my stomach area, I’m just going to keep going’
Kelly-jo Robson is 26 weeks pregnant, and training for the Commonwealth Games. Having narrowly missed out on a bronze medal in 2018, the 32-year-old weightlifter is determined to do all she can to make it to Birmingham next year. She cannot afford to miss nine months of training, nor would she want to. But in continuing to train every day, she confounds the views of some of her friends.
For Robson, the biggest challenge is not struggling to lift weights as her bump grows bigger; quite the opposite. “I don’t understand how to train light!” she says, with a laugh.
Like many women – from those involved in elite sport through to amateurs at the opposite end of the scale – Robson is debunking the myth that women should not train during pregnancy.
Still, she cannot escape the commonly held view that she is committing a taboo. The sight of a heavily pregnant woman sitting on a spin bike, jogging up a hill or pushing weights is enough to prompt heads to shake and disapproving mutters. Thankfully, such a way of thinking is slowly being consigned to the past.
While comprehensive research on the subject is relatively thin on the ground, and currently represents another underfunded area in female sports science, almost all evidence points to the benefits of exercise during pregnancy.
The British Journal of Sports Medicine in 2019 determined
“it is safe for female athletes and other women who have been physically active before pregnancy to largely maintain their training habits”, while the NHS emphasises that “exercise is not dangerous for your baby
… there is some evidence that active women are less likely to experience problems in later pregnancy and labour”.
Indeed, a 2017 American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology analysis of multiple trials featuring more than 2,000 women found those who exercised during pregnancy had lower incidence of caesarean delivery, and significantly lower incidences of gestational diabetes and gestational hypertension disorders.
Caveats remain, of course: such advice only applies to pregnancies deemed not to be “high risk”, while high-intensity exercise is not recommended for any pregnancy. But, so long as the mother-to-be does not overexert themselves – evident in elevated heart rate, dehydration or dizziness – evidence suggests keeping fit can only be a good thing.
Occasionally, such moments capture global attention. When an eight-month pregnant Alysia Montano competed over 800metres at the 2014 United States Track and Field Championships, her time of 2min 32.13sec was far quicker than the overwhelming majority of the population could manage at peak fitness. But for the double world bronze medallist, it was little more than a jog to “keep fit and have stamina for labour”. Three years later, she entered the
US trials five months pregnant with her second child, running in a Wonder Woman kit.
Equestrian rider Mary King helped Britain win European team gold in 1995 when five-and-a-half months pregnant,
German footballer Fatmire Alushi played the 2015 Champions League final for Paris St-germain when four months pregnant, and
Serena Williams was eight weeks pregnant when she won her last grand slam at the Australian Open in 2017. For them, it was just a continuation of what they considered normal.
Similarly, Robson is accustomed to hauling more weight than most men, so she has dropped her intensity to around 70 per cent of her maximum and says she will continue to lift until she gives birth “as long as I feel fine”.
She said: “There is a lot of controversy around training in pregnancy and the research is limited, which I understand because every single human is different and we all react differently. “But in strength training and power work you don’t actually reach a high heart-rate level because you’re not doing it for long enough. I work really hard when I’m in the gym so I’ve just gone with the feeling that I’ve got more in the tank but I’m not going to push it too much.
“I felt a twinge on a side lunge a couple of weeks ago so I just said I wouldn’t do them any more. As long as I don’t feel any pains in my stomach area I’m just going to keep going.” For elite athletes looking to resume their career after having a child, the desire to continue training extends beyond the immediate physical and mental benefits to ensuring a smooth return to sport after.
Long-distance runner Jo Pavey ran until a few weeks before giving birth to her son Jacob and daughter Emily, ensuring she “listened to my body” and rested completely if she ever felt tired. “I didn’t attempt any interval sessions,” she said.
“I wore a heart-rate monitor and kept my heart rate below 140, but people don’t need one, it’s just making sure you’re running at a pace where you can hold a conversation. I made sure I was close to the house and took a phone with me – things I wouldn’t bother doing if I wasn’t pregnant. You don’t want to be miles from home and unable to get back.”
The aim was to keep her body conditioned to return, which paid off when she ran her 10,000m personal best in finishing seventh at the London Olympics between pregnancies, before winning European gold 11 months after giving birth the second time.
“It was a massive surprise and it taught me a lot about how you can still achieve your goals after pregnancy,” she said.
England netballer Eboni Usoro-brown also hopes to gain international selection having returned to Superleague duty with Team Bath less than six months after giving birth to her daughter. “I was quite resolute that I was going to keep active while pregnant and already had thoughts that I wanted to come back,” she said. “When lockdown kicked in I made sure I walked 5-10km every day and I ran up to about six months. Just slow jogging. But I was active before so it wasn’t more strenuous than what I had been doing.”