My rules for coaches – I don’t care if we hate each other
Ihave learnt over the years that it is never about liking your staff or getting on with them socially. Of course, it’s a bonus if that happens but it cannot be forced. All that really matters in terms of work are your professional and performance relationships. Can you work together professionally to improve the performance of the organisation? Can you, in tandem, improve the people in the organisation? Those are the points that count in elite sport and business.
Empathy and interpersonal skills have an important role to play, and if anyone around me is struggling with personal problems, it is important they should feel able to approach me to discuss them. I try to help with advice and suggest ways in which they might cope.
There were a couple of occasions in this most recent Six Nations when someone on my staff, as well as in the playing group, opened up about difficulties away from rugby. They felt it was affecting their performances and it was good they could come to me to discuss the situation.
Offering human support, however, is very different to liking everyone you appoint. There are numerous coaches I really like as people. I enjoy meeting up with them and talking about rugby and life, over a meal or a drink, but I wouldn’t offer them a job. Conversely, most of the people I’ve really enjoyed working with professionally are not great friends of mine. We have had a fantastic working relationship, but the job is so consuming that I’m not on their list of people to see when they just want to relax.
People go on about great teams being great friends. Most of the time they’re not that close. Great teams have great performance relationships rather than great friendships. Look at Sir Alex Ferguson’s revered Manchester United teams. Apart from a small group of four or five, none of them seem to be close. They don’t talk to each other and they’ve got contrary views. But the job of a leader is to make sure there’s enough cohesion in the group so they have positive working relationships. If you are trying to bring in people you like, rather than the people you need, then you will not develop your organisation.
I always try to find people who know more than me in their specialist area. They might be very different to me, and we might have little in common socially, but they offer the balance to improve myself and
the squad. That balance is always crucial when it comes to choosing the right people.
Players are human beings and so they need different coaches that they can turn to at different times. Some days they need more analytical, hard-nosed coaching. On other days they need a cuddle and a chat about the universe. We try to get the right match for them and, on the whole, we have done pretty well with England.
It always helps if you have a trusted number two, or an ally, with whom you can share personal concerns and doubts. That vulnerability is often fleeting and so it is not always appropriate to express it to the other staff. I also don’t think it helps the players much if they see you looking down or uncertain. But there are occasions when it can work.
After we lost to France in Paris in the opening game of the 2020 Six Nations, I said to the players: “Boys, that was my fault. I didn’t get you ready in the right way. I’ve let you down, and I apologise.” I meant it, and I think the players respected that. It encourages an atmosphere of brutal honesty which can be hard to engender otherwise.
As long as my staff share our end vision, and buy into it totally, I don’t care about anyone else. If they start to doubt this vision, then it’s time for them to move on. They will show by their actions whether they want to be involved. If they don’t, then we’ll find someone to replace them. It’s not negotiable. Either you want to be a part of the vision or you don’t.