ITV shakes off the ‘curse’ after BBC mischief
Team Pougatch make light work of Lineker’s taunt as Keane perfects panto role and Woods’ star keeps rising
The curse, if not lifted, has at least been lessened. After England had put Wales away in the group stage, Gary Lineker had made reference to the so-called ITV curse: the statistical anomaly by which ITV has a significantly poorer win record than the BBC for England games. “It’s on ITV,” Lineker had said. “Oh well.” A nice cheeky line, but when you look at the defeats screened by the rival stations, perhaps not as clear as all that. Since 1998, ITV has screened nine England losses at World Cups and Euros, the BBC eight (they both showed the Euro 2020 final).
Hardly conclusive, but perhaps not surprising if ITV was a little defensive going into last night’s game. “This should be the biggest TV audience of the year so far,” said Sam Matterface. Unfortunately for the man whose face matters, he has become a bete noire for internet abusers, who were swift and merciless in yearning that someone else was helming the televisual extravaganza in question.
It is interesting how the wheel turns for these men behind the mic: one recalls when Clive Tyldesley, now firmly ensconced in the national treasure lounge, was constantly pilloried about, for instance, “that night in Barcelona”.
Lee Dixon, a decent co-commentator, is not his ideal foil; their rapport seems limited. During the tense first 30 minutes of the game, Dixon came across as tetchy, Matterface anxious. There is a sense with the commentator’s work that he has prepped the lines: for instance, when reeling off a long anecdote about how John Stones chivvies the England players to keep their kit neat in the dressing room, it allowed him to segue into: “England need to pull their socks up”.
The magic trick, surely, is to use the cards you have up your sleeve without alerting the punter to the fact that you are doing it. If he had more of a back-and-forth with Dixon, a more glamorous assistant as it were, you might not notice his clumsy sleights of hand.
When the game was settled, they appeared to relax a little. “Bring on the French,” urged Dixon. Of Bukayo Saka, he observed: “He’s a really nice kid. A super human being.” Matterface chimed in: “And his A-level grades are impeccable.” Aha!
And later, a deathless exchange about David Seaman fostering cats (causing some viewers to wonder if they had nodded off and tumbled into a feverish dream). “David’s just sent me a cat emoji,” reported Dixon. “And there’s Gareth, looking like the cat who got the cream,” responded his colleague. Good grief. Overall, they go together like Lampard and Gerrard.
By contrast, the ITV panel is a reliable one for these matches, in which everyone seems to know their role: Ian Wright with the partisan good vibes, Gary Neville the brains of the outfit. One notes that the days when experts avoided referring to the team as “we” are gone forever. Roy Keane provided the withering panto asides.
Mark Pougatch, knowing exactly which button he was pushing, invited Keane to enjoy the noisy
The magic trick, surely, is to use the cards you have up your sleeve without alerting the punter you are doing it
Senegal band before kick-off: “We can feel the noise, we can hear the music. Roy, the sense of occasion.” Keane: “It’s very annoying. It’s the World Cup, it’s lovely, but it is very annoying.” Never change, Roy. Never change.
Laura Woods, whose star is rising and who might be in Pougatch’s big chair sooner rather than later, was used in a pitch-side reporter role that mainly involves acting as Karen Carney’s handler. “It’s knockout football,” said Carney. “If you lose, you go home.” You cannot dispute that Karen has understood the assignment.
It is perhaps a little early to say that the curse is lifted – and all on the screen resisted the temptation to fire back at Lineker – but with ITV having the first pick of the quarter-finals, Matterface et al will get another go on Saturday. Curses, you might say.