Alpine fresh

In praise of a Swiss face-saver that takes years off you

UNTIL TWO MONTHS AGO, my only experience of Swiss produce was Milka’s Alpenmilch and Karl, the hydraulics engineer I dated in my late teens. I have fond memories of both but Karl will forever occupy a special place in the corridors of my romantic history as the most efficient man I’ve ever met.

Karl would make the week’s meals on a Sunday night and freeze the lot in nutritionally balanced serving-shaped batches. And as reassuring as it was to know that come 7pm Wednesday we’d be chowing down on some chicken paprikash, those stacks of labelled Tupperware were to my sexual desire what a dart is to a hot-air balloon. Once, when after three months apart I flew to his Geneva apartment on the wings of teenage longing, Karl opened the front door, asked me to swap my shoes for plastic house slippers and then kissed me.

They may not be sexy, the Swiss, but they get whatever it is that needs doing done. Which from a cosmetic point of view is all I want, and makes it all the more incomprehensible that I’d never tried any Swiss beauty products before. I think I’d assumed they would be overly rich and designed for the overly rich, but whatever my misconceptions I have seen the light – thanks to a single, insanely efficient, product.

Swisscode’s Pure Hyaluron is, and I cannot overstate this, life-changing. Better still, it will only take a few days to change your life. Two drops every morning and night and you look like you’ve had eight hours’ sleep and some seriously good but invisible work done by one of those Saint Germain dermatologists the A-list fly LAX– Charles de Gaulle to consult. Should I have failed to emphasise the efficiency of this product: if I found out newborn Pomeranians were used in its making, I would continue to buy it by the crate-load. And before you write in, google ‘joke’, take a deep breath and relax. Then buy it (or any of the following gems), and I believe the words you’re looking for are ‘thank you’.