Life and times

The actor Alison Steadman

I GREW UP IN A FAMILY that loved nature and I can still hear my grandma telling me that when I put the stale bread out for the birds, I had to soak it first so they didn’t choke. Five months ago I became a grandmother myself and I can’t wait until my little grandson, Freddy, reaches an age when I can take him on walks to see the birds and creepy-crawlies.

He is my first grandchild so, of course, I’m bound to say he is the best child in the world, but this was proved true one evening when I was at my son’s house and he said that Freddy, then eight weeks old, had tried to say ‘hello’ to him. None of us believed my son, but he insisted. ‘Mum,’ he said, ‘I’m not making it up.’ A week later, he sent me a video of Freddy and I was in shock – Freddy was actually saying ‘hello’. Extraordinary! I shall treasure that video forever.

I LOVE SPIDERS and have written a children’s book about them. At a recent book signing one child, who was probably about five, came up to me and said, ‘I’m not scared of spiders, but my dad is.’ Then his mum added, ‘Oh, it’s a nightmare. We don’t just have to put the spiders out of the window, but we have to take them down the road.’ The dad just stood there and nodded, entirely unembarrassed. ‘It’s true,’ he said.

And I’m certain he’s not the only one – while researching, one of the fascinating pieces of trivia I came across was that 70 per cent of the world’s population is afraid of spiders.

I’VE HAD A LOT OF FUN over the past few months as I reunited with John Cleese to film Hold the Sunset [a BBC comedy]. It’s the second time we’ve played a couple – we did a film called Clockwise 33 years ago – and I’ve always found him so kind, as well as eccentric and off-the-wall (that’s what makes John, John). This time round, I asked the art department to make up a Donald Trump mask, and John and I had a good laugh trying it on – John was Donald and I was Melania.

I’ve not always been this confident on set, however. When I first worked in television I was often nervous and on my second TV job, I was bullied terribly by a female director. One day, as I was rehearsing on set, she kept picking at me. I made one small mistake and she screamed, ‘Now I have to start from the beginning! You’re making me late.’ I remember thinking I didn’t want the job any more, but slowly I built the confidence to stand up to her and these days, if I see anyone being bullied, I step in.

That’s why, when I watched the Golden Globes and the Baftas this year, I was so pleased. All the actresses wearing black and saying ‘enough is enough’ was great. We are women, we are strong and we are not tolerating abuse and bullying any more. I WILL BE 72 THIS SUMMER and as I get older I find myself looking back and dwelling, often about my mum, Marjorie, who was diagnosed with a terminal illness and cared for by Marie Curie nurses before she died (that’s why I still support the charity).

I’ve also been thinking about my childhood in Liverpool, my old house in Anfield and all the love that was there. The only way to get through that sadness, I’ve found, is to focus on the joyful moments in life today. I’ll organise a dinner with my two lovely sons or a theatre trip with friends. A few G&TS help too. It’s taken me 70-odd years to realise it, but I now know the smallest pleasures really are the greatest.

On my second TV job, I was bullied terribly by a female director