The Daily Telegraph - Saturday - The Telegraph Magazine
Why diamonds are not for ever
Gone are the days when a woman would wait to be presented with a big diamond sparkler as her loved one popped the question. Now, rich coloured gems are taking centre stage and women are doing the choosing.
Prepare for the onslaught of ‘he put a ring on it #engaged’ Instagram posts: yesterday was the most popular day of the year to pop the question – seeing an estimated 36 per cent of all proposals. For newly engaged couples, the fun starts now: a months-long quest for the details that’ll make their big day unique, from personalised wedding favours to inside-joke table names. I should know: I’m one of them. But for the majority of soon-tobe-weds, one element remains the same: the diamond ring on the bride-to-be’s finger.
According to the latest De Beers Diamond Insight report, 72 per cent of US brides receive a diamond engagement ring. In the 1940s, before De Beers launched its ‘A diamond is forever’ ad campaign, the figure was 20 per cent. Diamonds have become a shorthand for love and commitment: the bigger and more expensive, the better. Talk about pressure… But that tide is turning, as jewellers champion colour and more unusual styles that better capture the wearer’s personality – and are more affordable to boot.
‘The bridal industry has sold us one version of love that I don’t personally buy into,’
says Laura Lambert, the 30-year-old founder of Fenton & Co, a direct-to-consumer jewellery company that allows customers to design their own non-diamond ring, Build-abear style, online. By focusing on coloured gemstones – sapphires, emeralds, rubies, aquamarines and garnets – and sourcing them directly from the countries in which they are mined, the company offers sizeable stones at a fraction of the price of traditional diamond engagement rings. Customers can select the gemstone cut, colour and size, the type of metal, plus engraving (there are over 5,000 combinations).
There’s no confusing ‘Four Cs’ terminology: gemstones are measured in millimetres rather than carat weights (which don’t directly correspond to size), with prices starting at £1,250 for a three-stone garnet Garland design. In comparison, a threestone diamond ring at a Bond Street jeweller might set you back over £5,000. Fenton & Co’s streamlined supply chain also means that the gemstones are traceable: a bonus for sustainably minded millennials.
‘Fenton & Co exists to counteract the pressure that you have to spend thousands on an identikit, one-carat solitaire diamond
– when, actually, you just want to know that you love each other, and wear something beautiful that symbolises that,’ says Lambert, who studied history at Oxford and worked in digital marketing at Bicester Village before launching the brand. ‘The diamond engagement ring has only existed socially for less than 100 years, whereas sapphires have been used since Roman times.’
Coloured gemstones are a growing trend, boosted by high-profile engagement rings such as the Duchess of Cambridge’s blue sapphire, Princess Eugenie’s Padparadscha sapphire and Cressida Bonas’s target-style
ring which features rubies around the central diamond. ‘Green stones are in particularly high demand – especially tsavorites, tourmalines and emeralds,’ says Emma Clarkson Webb, a London-based jeweller who specialises in bespoke engagement rings. ‘Black diamonds are also having a serious moment. A few years ago you would never have dreamt of having an engagement ring with a black diamond so it’s exciting to see people opting for something more unusual.’
Colour is just one way shoppers are innovating. ‘People are becoming more adventurous with the design of their engagement rings because they want to stand out from their friends. But it’s difficult to find original design on the high street – you have to know where to go,’ says Beanie Major, the founder of ‘jewellery concierge’ service In Detail, which matches clients with independent jewellers who’ll make the ring of their dreams – even if they don’t know what that dream is yet.
Over several consultations, In Detail’s designers develop a ring that suits the client’s lifestyle and aesthetic, using photos of them, their current jewellery collection and a library of previous commissions as a starting point. Celebrity engagement rings also provide inspiration: Mary-kate Olsen’s antique Cartier ring and Scarlett Johansson’s one-of-akind brown diamond on a black band are two frequently admired. Both are, admittedly, stonking diamonds, but more unusual than the gigantic rocks worn by Victoria Beckham, Mariah Carey, J-LO et al that we lusted after in the noughties.
Nailing somebody’s personality and style in ring form is easier said than done – and a costly error if you get it wrong. So the recipients are increasingly getting involved. ‘The Hollywood idea of a man secretly choosing a ring while a woman waits patiently with her hand out is completely outdated,’ says Lambert – not least because marriage is no longer reserved for heterosexual couples. ‘We’re making educated, personal choices about childcare, careers and relationships, but when it comes to weddings it’s like, “Where’s my diamond solitaire and my big white dress?” It’s weird and outdated!’
In my case, it was inevitable that I’d be involved. As the Telegraph’s jewellery editor, I write about some eye-wateringly expensive pieces. I’ve tried on diamonds the size of duck eggs, with price tags equal to a Mayfair mansion. I knew exactly what I didn’t want (a cookie-cutter solitaire), but not what I did, and, being a ‘squeezed millennial’, couldn’t fathom spending a house deposit on a piece of jewellery. The answer came at auction: while browsing (in the name of work research, of course), I saw an antique ring with old-cut diamonds in the yellow-gold, bezel-set style I like.
Having already discussed getting married, I pointed it out to my now-fiancé.
Far from being offended, he was relieved that there was a way to get it
‘right’ without bankrupting himself in the process.
I’m not alone.
Some 75 per cent of
In Detail’s clients are couples shopping together. ‘Women buy jewellery for themselves so they know what they like, and they enjoy being involved. They are the one who’ll wear the ring for the rest of their life, after all,’ says Major. And, according to that De Beers report, the proportion of engagement rings bought by women themselves has doubled from seven to 14 per cent in the last five years – while still a minority, it’s a sign of how times are changing.
Lambert is working on ‘an elegant way for people to talk about engagement rings, because right now it’s really awkward. Who decreed that we can be equals in every other aspect of life but when it comes to getting engaged we have to sit there, zip-lipped? We can have a conversation without ruining the romance. If anything, it makes it more romantic because instead of stressing about spending a fortune or getting it “wrong”, we’re stripping it back to what really matters. It’s about substance, not just the glitter on top.’