An ode to older dads.

When you picture the hottest status symbol for a successful over-50 man, what do you see? A Barbour? A string of 1990s-era NDAS? Gout? No. It is the humble papoose. Men who’d once have been considering a subscription to Saga and dedicating their energy to making sure nobody fiddles with the thermostat are now ‘at it’ again, and having another go at fatherhood. And even the 55-year-old PM himself is getting in on the act. Some will view them with envy, others eye-rolling contempt. But one thing is undeniable: this is a virile bunch. Here’s the papoose posse – I bet there’s not a nappy change between them.

BORIS JOHNSON

Is this what he meant when he was banging on about ‘oven-ready’ and ‘love-bombing’ all that time? In the summer, Johnson will welcome his first child with Carrie Symonds, who may or may not be his wife by then. You know the old saying, ‘Sixth – or seventh, that we know of – time’s a charm.’

HUGH GRANT Grant had the first child he knew about in 2011, at the age of 51. He then had four more in six years with two partners, though in such an improbable order that we’d probably need to insert a small notepad and pencil on this page to help you work it out. And we just don’t have the budget for that.

RONNIE WOOD Who would want twins as a 69thbirthday present? Ronnie Wood. His fifth and sixth kids, Gracie and Alice, were born two days before Ronnie’s celebration in 2016. ‘I’m the burper,’ he said in an interview at the time. No word yet on what he does for the babies.

ROD STEWART

Rod has eight by five – children by women, that is – and his eldest is almost a decade older than his current wife, Penny Lancaster. He and Penny had two more boys when Rod was over 60. All those kids, all those model trains… he is truly the Jacob Rees-mogg of rock.

ELTON JOHN Elton wanted kids while he was still standing, so he had two sons, Zachary and Elijah, with husband David Furnish when he was well into his 60s. He has since called it ‘the greatest thing’, and wishes he’d started earlier. It’s easy to believe. But with the staying up all night dealing with the endless tantrums, the toys thrown out of the pram and the frequent nappy changes, how did David’s life change exactly?

MICK JAGGER Possibly the daddy of them all, and undeniably still capable of producing more at 76. Here’s a fun fact: Jagger’s eighth and most recent child, three-yearold Deveraux Octavian Basil, is two years younger than Ezra, his great-granddaughter.

SIMON COWELL What Simon wants, Simon gets, and he asked for an heir in 2014, receiving one in the form of lookalike Eric. They recently announced a series of seven children’s books, Wishfits, they’ll co-author, beginning Cowell Jnr’s nascent entertainment empire. ‘I’m sort of training him up,’ Simon said, terrifyingly. Somewhere, Louis Walsh wipes away a tear. He was told that once, too.

GREGG WALLACE

Masterchef’s eater-in-chief, 55, met his fourth wife, Anne Marie, 34, on Twitter in 2013. Six years later she had little Sid, their first child. If you thought Cowell and Eric look alike, you should see these two – uncanny. Though, on closer inspection, that may be because Wallace looks identical to all babies.