HOW TO FACE THE MUSIC…

What a horrible expression. For me, it conjures up those times in childhood where I, a chronic goody-two-shoes, would have to read anger or disappointment in my mum/dad/teacher’s eyes. The feeling that everything was ruined, for ever. As we’ve already established, I am a natural ostrich, so if anything fills me with dread beyond all else, it’s the concept of having to face my mistakes head on.

It is, unfortunately, a necessary step in making things okay again, but you don’t have to rip your head out of the sand with such force that you burn half your face off.

I did it alone. I think I felt I needed the time and space to come to terms with it before reading anyone else’s reaction, and that I’d struggle to find someone who would be able to be

entirely neutral in that particular situation. I was also still feeling deeply ashamed, and not really ready to open up – hopefully you are making inroads in letting go of those feelings by this point, but you may still decide to do the sums by yourself.

I’d recommend taking the following steps, in the following order, and, importantly, taking a break if it all feels like it’s getting a bit too much.

1 Check the balance of your main account(s). 2 Check the balance of your credit card(s). 3 Download an app where you can see all your accounts in one place, like Money Dashboard. Speak to someone. This could either be someone close to you, or a trained professional from

a dedicated organisation – such as Stepchange or the National Debtline. It may be that you need someone with you throughout, or you might feel you need to do this alone – it’s up to you. 5 Speak to your bank and lenders. 6 Check your credit scores with all three providers: Experian, Equifax and Transunion.

Have a cup of tea (or something stronger). Remember that you are more than equal to this. You are not a bad person. This is fixable. You have all the information now, and it can’t hurt you any more. No more panicking because you accidentally pressed ‘cash and screen balance’. No more hoping for the best when you hand over your credit card in Zara. This can be the end of all of those anxieties – right here, right now.