Now’s the time to declutter your coat cupboard

The reformed maximalist’s guide to cutting back on coats

How many does a person really need, asks Emily Cronin?

It’s that time again. Time to stand in front of my coat cupboard, wrestle the contents out and into a pile, and make a case for each item’s utility before replacing it on the rail.

It’s got to be done. Really, it does. Otherwise an increasingly crowded space will only become more clogged with children’s coats in obsolete sizes and rarely seen outerwear that must belong to my husband (though when has he ever worn that rain mac?). And the remaining twothirds of the household’s outerwear, which is… all mine.

You’d think this would amount to too many coats. The trouble is, I wear all my coats. Or, more accurately, I find it all too easy, during an attempted cull, to rush to their defence with hypothetical scenarios for which every specimen on the rail would be uniquely suited. That floral-print opera coat with the gathered elbow-length sleeves? Just the thing to wear over a black slip dress for a glam-yet-easy dinner party at a friend’s house. The olive-green collarless leather patchwork coat? Makes basic jeans and a T-shirt look cool (and squeaks by on length of tenure alone – I’ve had it since I was 16). Not one, but two black leather jackets? They’re totally different. End of conversation.

But, really, we only need five coats. Specifically…

• The rugged one: Whatever system of Covid-spread-prevention the country moves on to after lockdown, one point seems inescapable: we’re all going to spend more time outdoors this winter. Cold-weather walks call for different kinds of coats than supermarket dashes or commutes. Which is why I’m acquiring a well-padded, waterproof (or water-resistant) coat with a generous hood. The Stormont from Parka London has all of the above and zingy contrast lining, plus it’s made in Britain.

• The professional one: I’m happily hanging out with last year’s checked Nanushka for this category. But if I needed a new one, I’d look to Massimo Dutti or Sézane for beautifully tailored styles.

• The shacket: Not quite a shirt, not quite a jacket – this layering piece will be your WFH best friend, easy to sling on over a T-shirt and keep on under a coat. Call it an in-betweener.

• The dressy one: It’s a bit disingenuous, really, to call this one a coat, since wearing it out in winter would require another layer (ie your real coat). But a vintage kimono or organza trench can make an outfit. Bonus: although this one is specific, it shouldn’t take up enough space in your closet to ever be a storage problem.

• The quilted one: For those times when you need to wrap up but the full polar-expedition parka is just too much. Alexa Chung’s latest collaboration with Barbour includes this instant classic; for something designer-level, look at Marfa Stance.

If you find yourself with winter coats to spare, share them with those in need through the Wrap Up network, on Uk-wide now. See humanappeal.org.uk/ appeals /wrap-up-2020 or handsonlondon.org.uk

Daphne coat, £309, Baum und Pferdgarten (baumund pferdgarten.com)