New toys? Your children would prefer a holiday

Instead of splashing out on the latest ‘must have’, make sure memories are made on a special family trip, says Hattie Garlick

Parents have been wasting hundreds of pounds on toys, according to a leading child psychologist, and they should be spending their money on holidays instead. “Do you have any idea what proportion of the presents we give children aren’t wanted or valued?” asks Oliver James, whose books include Love Bombing: Reset Your Child’s Emotional Thermostat. The figure ranges from one-fifth to two-thirds, depending on the survey. In Britain, the average annual spend on toys is £508 per child.

“The whole business of providing material commodities for kids – in ever more expensive forms as they get older – is 100 per cent about propping up the industry that profits from it,” says James. “On the other hand, family holidays are definitely valued by children, both in the moment and for long afterwards in their memory. So if you’re going to spend money on something, it’s pretty clear which option makes more sense.”

Research indicates that, despite us continuing to buy more material goods, adults regard experiences like travel as more fulfilling. Children, says James, are no different. It’s just that they value different aspects of travel.

“The first and simplest mistake an awful lot of parents make is confusing what they find exciting about a holiday with what their children will,” says James. “So many of the ‘interesting’ things about a new place are deathly boring to the vast majority of children – high culture, for example, in almost all its forms.”

So, what do children find most interesting? “They see the world differently,” James explains, “through consumption, for example. The way French cafés have Orangina instead of Fanta is fascinating to kids, and details like that will stick with them long after the holiday ends. We should let them explore their own ways of finding wonder in their surroundings.”

James gives the example of taking his own children, then 10 and 14, to Paris: “My daughter was quite interested in the art. The only thing that even vaguely interested my son was a shop that was the French equivalent of Sports Direct. But both of them really enjoyed mocking me for the cheapskate accommodation I’d