Running a marathon? Give me a break

Bryony Gordon

About five months into marathon training, a funny thing starts to happen: you find that you’re in need of a lie-down. Your body, struggling with the demands of regularly running long distances, starts to yearn for hibernation. It begins to reject alcohol, no matter how much you want to drink it, and has a tendency to shut down shortly after 8pm, which is fine if you are a three-year-old, but not so great if you are 36. So when I heard about a marathon break at a hotel a couple of miles from my house, my interest was piqued – I just needed to find the energy to transport myself there.

The Como Metropolitan is within hobbling distance of the London Marathon finish line on the Mall, a short shuffle through Green Park up to Park Lane, where the hotel is nestled discreetly between the mega Hiltons, InterContinentals and Four Seasons. When it opened in the late Nineties, the Metropolitan was a byword for decadence and excess. The Met Bar was one of London’s first members’ clubs – in the late Nineties and early Noughties barely a day passed without a megastar falling out of its doors, and at times it seemed that the likes of Kate Moss and Oasis actually lived there. But 20 years on, the hotel has grown up and reinvented itself as an oasis of calm in the centre of London. The traffic might roar past 24 hours a day, but checking in very much involves checking out of the rat race.

And so the two-day marathon package has been specially created for those of us who have been mad enough to sign up to run the London course on April 23. The idea is that the hotel becomes your sanctuary for the race weekend, but I’m just horses across the sand in the 18th century (and still do occasionally today). The Serpentine soon appears, and six kilometres later I am back at the hotel, where I take a long bath with Como own-brand products, inspired by its sister residence in Bali. The Shambhala range (in ancient Buddhist texts, the shambhala refers to a sacred place of bliss) features bath salts, oils and lotions made with ingredients like basil, ginger, bergamot, ylang-ylang and peppermint – I could quite happily stay in the water for the next six hours, but I have an appointment downstairs in the spa for a sports massage. It would be rude to miss it.

The Shambhala Urban Escape is a small spa with only six treatment rooms, but its size means it is able to concentrate on doing everything exceptionally well. Here, massage therapists are massage therapists and facialists are facialists, and never the twain shall meet – so you know that you’re going to get a high-quality treatment. I’ve never had a male therapist before, but any unease I might have evaporates the moment that Ilie gets his knuckles into my shoulders. It is the best massage I have ever had. And I have had a lot of massages.

I float back to my room where I am treated to the marathon menu, specially devised by the hotel’s chefs and nutritionists to provide you with the optimum amount of fuel. There is grilled chicken with asparagus on a bed of pasta, or Moroccan couscous with aubergine, courgette, chickpeas and apricot, and a glass of Muscle Mylk, a delicious blend of coconut, flax seeds and cinnamon that apparently helps bring down inflammation. I am in heaven, and sleep a full eight hours for the first time in months.

In the morning I can choose from a selection of juices – do I want a Stress Reliever or the Lean and Clean Greens? – to accompany my almond-milk porridge with bananas and blueberries. I take the yoga mat nestled behind the towelling robes and switch on the hotel’s dedicated yoga channel; it is in the process of creating a meditation one, too. Easing myself into a downward dog, I feel almost unbearably smug.

People often ask why exactly I wanted to do a marathon. At checkout, it occurs to me that my night in this hotel might be the answer. I leave refreshed and ready for my next long run. If this is what doing a marathon involves, then you can sign me up for next year too.

prepares for the 2017 London Marathon at the Como Metropolitan, a stone’s throw from the finish line

The Como London Marathon package includes accommodation, pre-race dinner and breakfast, post-race 75-minute massage and foot soak, and a juice, from £370 per night. Personal trainer Kemo Marriott offers special pre-race menus. Afterwards, medal in hand, enjoy a remedial massage and foot soak to soothe those aching muscles at the Como Shambhala spa. Luxury sports brands Castore and Monreal will be sending guests a £50 voucher to redeem online. Book at comohotels.com/ metropolitanlondon. For a full review, see: telegraph.co.uk/ tt-comometropolitan.