Swimming with sharks? Oh, go on then …

Matt Hampton and his family enjoy some unorthodox thrills on a (relatively) affordable holiday in the Maldives

Is swimming with sharks poor parenting in action? I told the kids we were unlikely to see anything bigger than a fish finger this close to the shore, but there we were, pursuing two blacktip reef sharks in the shallows of the Indian Ocean.

They may only have been a couple of feet long (the sharks, not the kids), but from the muffled shrieks of joy piped through their snorkels, it was clearly a moment of great excitement – just one in a series of firsts served up by the Maldives.

The archipelago is synonymous with seven-star island retreats, glass-bottomed villas on stilts and prohibitive prices. Only there is a sort of affordable side to it, recently made more so by the German giant Tui. Its Robinson brand opened the allinclusive Club Noonu at the end of 2017, on the tiny speck of Orivaru, a plane and boat ride away from

Malé airport.

This May half-term, at the tail end of the dry season, a family room for two adults and two children costs from £2,500 for a week’s all-inclusive holiday. Adding flights and transfers from about £900 per person, that makes it a very special holiday indeed, especially when half-term at the Mediterranean equivalent – say a Mark Warner or Neilson beach club – could be as little as £900 per person including flights.

But consider the spectacular setting and the once-in-a-lifetime nature of a trip to the Maldives, and the balance starts to shift.

Also consider that in the peak season at the start of September – avoiding the summer monsoon – the same room would be £3,400 for a week. And you can’t bring your school-aged children then, anyhow.

This makes May half-term a canny time for a family visit, with daily temperatures of up to 86F (30C) and only the odd risk of a downpour.

Do not be tempted by the apparent bargains of August, when those occasional downpours become longer and more frequent, and propping up the bar takes over as the most tolerable activity. This once happened to my neighbours, who assured me – through gritted teeth – that it was still quite fun. But while the rain may be warm, you won’t get a tan through it. They certainly didn’t.

Since it opened in November, Club Noonu has seen a smattering of

Britons take the plunge, joining an international smorgasbord of guests, no doubt drawn by the value of the all-inclusive deal, and the enticingly warm waters of the Indian Ocean.

For those reared on holidays in the Med, this is the first quirk of the Maldives. My 10-year-old twins, Miles and Ava, are familiar with the two approved methods of entry into the sea: Dad’s all-or-nothing run followed by a dive under the first crashing wave; or the phased approach favoured by Mum: 30 seconds of ankles only, then knees and thighs in stages, with the option to renegotiate or withdraw at the nether regions.

Never before had the graceful entry been considered: a slow and smooth submission into warm, crystalclear water. And yet, there it was over Easter.

They were equally confused by the allinclusive package: neither had been to the sort of hotel where people constantly volunteer to bring you things – unless you count the one where they live – and it took the best part of a week for them to stop asking if they could order something. I had consented on day one and let the staff know they could bring me all the top-quality (German) beer they wanted.

A feeling of unreality pervades the resort; it is like walking into a daydream, or a J G Ballard novel where the dystopia is reversed into a tropical fantasy. At first, I thought all the staff were called Robin (it says so in big letters on their name badges; their real one is underneath). These sons and daughters of Robin speak enough English and usually two or three other languages. The mother tongue is German, which suits the majority of guests, but on our visit the international mix included a French family, some Italians, a few Russians and two Chinese groups; it’s like holidaying with the UN.

As such, the people watching is marvellous. If you thought Germans liked following instructions, they have nothing on the Chinese, who gamely clap along when told to during the evening entertainment, and dance on cue. It is mostly the Robinson staff who perform of an evening, and I was in the minority in finding the music too loud and the dance routines too

BEACH OR POOL Dive into the ocean or try out the pool, the choice is yours