HAPPY EVERYBODY GLAMPERS YURTS FLAME THROWER WOOD KURT BE GOOD IN THE ACT

Many of us have ditched camping in favour of glamping (turn up; tent is already up; nice bed). Featherdown’s Rhossili Bay retreat in Wales ( featherdown.co.uk) offers a Canvas Lodge that sleeps six and can be rented for four nights from Sept 3 for £339. Had Queen Victoria been heading to the Isle of Wight now, she might have shunned Osborne House for Tom’s Eco Lodge (tomsecolodge.com) at Yarmouth. Not only does it have giant tents, it has “modulogs” – insulated log cabins (sleeping six). A three-night stay starting on Sept 14 costs £588. Well, not yurts exactly. But Catchpenny in Fife does have a splendid range of canvas lodges with beds, hot showers and flushing loos. Bumblebee Lodge sleeps up to six. It’s available for four nights from Sept 10 for £420 (catchpennyelie.co.uk). Tents were a significant part of the medieval battlefield. So were dysentery and death by longbow. So credit to Warwick Castle (warwick-castle.com) for only borrowing the tent part (and spicing the concept with a mythical flying lizard) in its Dragon Slayer show (knight fights virtual beast, wins; selected dates to Aug 27). Two-day glamping breaks with tent lodging, show and castle entry start at £75pp, four sharing. “With the lights out, it’s less dangerous.” Hang on, wrong Nirvana. What we mean here is the Nirvana offered by glamping specialists Quality Unearthed (quality unearthed.co.uk). It’s a bijou campsite close to Exmoor National Park. It comes with a converted train carriage that sleeps two ( from £99 a night), and space to pitch tents. It also has a private airstrip. Pah! All this sounds like lightweight camping for people who don’t want to spend 28 days slogging across one of the rooftops of the world, slumbering in tents on Himalayan rock. OK, calm down. You need the Lunana Snowman Trek through Bhutan offered by mountainkingdoms.com. It leaves on

Sept 29 and costs from £8,020, including flights.