FOR YOUR PLEASURE GOT THE BLUES NAME HIT THE BAR THAT DUNE LIKE TO MOVE IT

Sitting quietly on a beach is one thing. Enduring gravity-bending rides within sight of one is quite another. Icon, the newest roller coaster at blackpoolpleasurebeach.com, arrived in 2018. But with a speed of 53mph, velocity beats fading novelty. One-day wristbands from £28; doubles at the bigbluehotel.com from £69. Hugely picturesque – its long beach and rolling dunes still protected by the grand Norman castle – Bamburgh in Northumberland was last month declared Britain’s best seaside destination in a Which? poll. A three-night stay from Aug 30 in the two-bedroom Long Barn cottage at springhillfarm.co.uk costs £670. The adage that “cleanliness is next to godliness” is all very well, but this being an article about beaches, it’s the former that is more important. Unless you want a church on the shore. Which you don’t. You want a nice Blue Flag beach that has earned all its badges for water quality and environmental management. And, as of 2019, there are lots of them in the UK. You can find a full list at thebeachguide.co.uk, which names 125 saintly strips of sand – as well as 75 more in Ireland. Which is helpful. These days, British seaside food can be better than a portion of soggy fish and chips under the predatory eye of a fat seagull. Witness The Movable Feast (themovablefeast.org; £3pp), a swirl of local fare and craft beers that is on a tour of the Welsh coast this summer. It will be in Llandudno today, and at Benllech and Amlwch – both on Anglesey – on Aug 17 and 24 respectively. All three towns offer fine beaches. While we’re going to extremes, what is Britain’s southern-most beach? Pick any of the options on St Agnes in the Isles of Scilly – perhaps The Bar, the sand-spit which connects the archipelago’s last hurrah to the side-islet of Gugh. Can you stay here? Indeed. Nearby Troytown Farm (troytown.co.uk) offers The Cottage – a two-bedroom hideaway which costs from £1,070 per week in August, and £800 per week in September.