HELEN MCBOATFACE ISLE BE BACK LOST WORLD YOU’RE BARD

The war’s roots are still visible, in grand ruins, in the Greek Peloponnese – at Sparta (where Menelaus, hubby of Helen – she of the “face that launched a thousand ships” – was ruler) and Mycenae. The eight-day escorted “Archaeology Holiday in Greece” sold by ResponsibleTravel.com calls at both sites. From £1,070pp ( flights extra).

The modern identities of the locations listed in The Odyssey are much debated – but the home island Odysseus was seeking is well marked. Ithaca is one of the smaller Ionian outcrops, and a quiet place for a break. A week’s stay at the cosy Rigoni Apartments, flying from Gatwick on May 16, starts at £789pp; Ionianislandholidays.com.

In his 2005 tome “Odysseus Unbound”, the academic Robert Bittlestone made a case for the Paliki peninsula – on the west side of Kefalonia – being the Ithaca of “The Odyssey”, arguing that its geography tallies up with Homer’s text. It’s a fascinating claim – one that you could investigate further from the peninsula’s Villa Voltera Lixouri (HomeAway.co.uk). A week’s stay, arriving on May 9, costs £1,295 ( flights extra).

It’s a mystery why “Troilus and Cressida” is not more widely performed. Shakespeare’s play about Troy has all the starcrossed romance of “Romeo and Juliet” – with added juicy betrayals, and no teenage whining. See it next year in, er, Seattle (March 17-April 12; $46/£36; seattleshakespeare. org). Slot it into Bon-Voyage.co. uk’s 13-day “Great Pacific Northwest” road trip. From £2,125pp (with flights).