The Daily Telegraph - Saturday - Travel
Perfect for the kids – and granny!
It needed careful planning, but a holiday with children and someone with Alzheimer’s proved hugely uplifting, says Janice Hopper
When I told people that my mother-in-law was accompanying us on a family holiday, the general – well-meaning – assumption was that we would have a “babysitter on tap”. This couldn’t be further from the truth, because we’re part of what I call the “Sandwich Generation”.
This burgeoning generation is sonamed because we are clearly a sandwich short of a picnic. We left it so late to have children that we’re caring for very young kids and aged parents with additional needs, simultaneously. Our holiday would involve my husband and I entertaining our four and fiveyear-old sons, as well as caring for his mother, Mary, who was officially diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2017. I found myself packing for the “fun” prospect of a week in Corsica with this motley crew, and I wasn’t entirely sure that “holiday” was the right word for it.
When planning this trip I’d initially pictured a relaxing, all-inclusive break, where housework was eliminated, and the prosecco was on tap. But we decided that subjecting Mary to a new table for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day, several pools and a new sun lounger each morning, would completely overwhelm her. The kids would be fine, but a large resort hotel would mean endless work for my husband and me, manoeuvring Mary through new locations every few hours. Despite her cheerful disposition, it would be exhausting for us all.
Instead, we decided to look for a home from home vibe, a space where Mary had a fighting chance of remembering her way around. I didn’t want any nasty surprises upon arrival, so I booked a three-bedroom villa with a private pool in Corsica, and was pleased when the local rep, Debbie Clover, phoned a week before we arrived to talk through our specific group dynamic. This meant that, when we arrived in Calvi, she had already dropped off extra inflatables for the pool, Lego, children’s DVDs, footballs and a welcome pack containing basics such as coffee, milk and bread, as well as excellent local wine ( from Clos Columbo), chestnut beer (Pietra), local pâté, biscuits and crackers. We instantly felt welcome and at home.
The kids immediately hit the pool with their dad and Nanny (she’s a very active, fun granny, albeit with the memory of a goldfish). Meanwhile, I sat down with Debbie discussing excursions that would suit our party. It was so helpful to get advice tailored to our needs.
From Debbie’s suggestions, we selected low-key, relatively stress-free distractions – including Calvi beach, its gentle shoals, ideal for the youngsters and Nanny. (Although it was a bit frustrating for my husband, who had to walk out to sea for several minutes to get up to his waist for a swim.) We borrowed the villa’s fishing nets and spades, caught sea anemones and chased the tiny fish that swam in the shallows. Nanny was there every step of the way.
One morning we walked from our villa to the top of Calvi’s Citadel, becoming “Kings of the Castle”, and exploring the small but perfectly formed cathedral on the summit. Then, on a cloudy day, we caught the coastal Trinchellu train that runs along the Balagne coastline to Ile Rousse. We ate croissants in the main square, explored a ruined tower, slurped on ice cream, then returned home, getting caught in a heavy and dramatic downpour. The kids and Nanny thought this was a great adventure! Admittedly, compared with lounging by the pool, all these activities took a lot of effort.
What made it a success – and kept everyone safe and alive – was good communication between me and my husband and a patient approach to every key decision; from where to go, when, why, where to eat and what to bring. We had to gently corral everyone out of the door, order the food, settle the bill, direct everyone to the lavatories, navigate on foot or by car, plan meals, cook and clean. It would have been disastrous to have a communication breakdown. We found laughter and a relaxed attitude was great medicine. Our villa became a week-long pyjama party, as the kids and Nanny swapped bedrooms or forgot whose bedroom was whose. We just smiled and let them get on with it. There was no point sweating over the small stuff.
As Mary’s world gets increasingly insular, we had wanted to help her to escape the mundane, and flourish with her grandchildren. We also wanted our youngsters to build holiday memories with Nanny before it’s too late. And our villa by the sea in Corsica helped us do just that. They can’t wait to jet off with Nanny in tow – again!
Overseas holidays are currently subject to restrictions. See Page 3.