The holiday that changed me ‘This would be a place that was ours’

Smitten by a romantic island in Indonesia, comedian Bill Bailey and his partner knew what they had to do…

In 1998, I’d been doing some shows in Hong Kong and we had some time to kill before I had to be back in London for work. My partner, Kristin, and I decided to go on a trip and thought we would make use of where we were. Initially, we decided to go to Thailand, but we couldn’t get a flight.

We ended up in Bali, with its masses of tourists and a Hard Rock Cafe – exactly the sort of place we didn’t want. So we went to a little tourist agency and said: “Name a place in Indonesia where not many people go.” The woman we spoke to was from Ambon, and said: “Ambon is nice.”

We took a flight from Bali to Makassar, the capital of South Sulawesi. Having spent a night there, we took a flight to Ambon – the capital of Maluku, a group of islands in the eastern part of Indonesia on the way to Papua New Guinea. It had been inhabited by the Portuguese and Dutch, leaving remnants of their architecture. We were the only western tourists on the plane.

Our Lonely Planet guide recommended a specific café which did a dish special to the area. Everyone stopped eating when we went in, and started murmuring. The waiter came over, we pointed to the dish we were supposed to eat, and he said, “Habis”– it’s finished. We didn’t have a plan B, so I pointed to something else. “We’ll have two of those,” I said. He looked askance, and I tried to appear confident. Kris was giving me a look that said: “You could have ordered anything, you idiot.” We sat in trepidation and everyone started murmuring again. Eventually, the waiter came out flamboyantly and placed two bread rolls on the table. We all laughed – the waiter laughed, then the whole restaurant laughed and became hysterical – so it was a real icebreaker. Then they said: “We’ll bring you some stuff,” and out came some fantastic dishes.

The next day, we got a ferry to the Banda Islands with two western couples we’d met who were divers – the waters around Banda are legendary. Hours later, we stood on deck as the islands came into view. The most prominent feature was Gunung Api, which means fire mountain.

It’s the caldera of an extinct volcano, with a curved outer island, a curved inner island and a perfect, calm lagoon. The volcano cone rose out of a perfect blue ocean – a view unchanged since the first people to come here saw it. There is no evidence of the 20th century – no planes overhead, no sign of any human settlement.

As you steam into the lagoon, you are greeted by the sight of this calm, green water and palm-fringed beaches, and as you get closer, Dutch colonial architecture, then a shanty town near the fish market. Up on a hill above the lagoon is an old Dutch fort, which is magical. We looked at this place and as we

entered the lagoon, standing next to each other, the sun was setting. It sounds impossibly romantic – and it was. It was one of those moments where everything aligns. I don’t think I’ve seen anything to match the sunsets in Indonesia: pinks, blues, turquoises, the light playing over the lagoon…

There was a breeze, and it was balmy. Frigate birds circled in the sky, sea eagles soared above. We looked at the scene, looked at each other and said: “Let’s get married.” We’d talked about it for a while, but the guestlist thing had become a burden. “If we invite them, we have to invite them…” And there was a lot going on. I’d just recorded my first DVD, Cosmic Jam; I had tours, and the TV show Is It Bill Bailey? But whatever happened, this would be a place that was ours. That’s what prompted us.

When we said we’d like to get married, the hotelier told us about a Dutch Protestant church which was picturepostcard pretty, with wooden pews and old flagstones. We met the local vicar, and he said: “We can fit you in on Tuesday.” The ceremony was the full Book of Common Prayer service. The priest translated the liturgy from Indonesian, but the hymns wouldn’t have been my choice – Kum Ba Yah and Nearer, My God, to Thee, which is what they sang when the Titanic went down. Kris was wearing a traditional lace

– a sarong-and-jacket combo – and I was wearing a short Bandanese bolero-type wedding jacket, obviously meant for someone way smaller. I looked like a 1970s prog-rock roadie.

Being married felt like we had made a huge commitment and that something had changed between us. There was a more permanent bond. The fact that we had forged it in this extraordinary place strengthened it and made it unique. We went back in 2018 for our 20th wedding anniversary – another magical time.

As told to Susan Gray

Bill Bailey’s En Route to Normal tour begins in Plymouth on Dec

12. Tickets and dates: billbailey.co.uk

Deep feelings: Bill Bailey and his partner Kristen travelled to the Banda Islands with two western couples who were divers Waiting game: Fenwick Elliott checks her PCR test results at a pub near Heathrow