Your consumer champion Charming female con artist slowly seduced me to steal £35,000

QLast year, I met a woman online called Alexis and we became great friends. Alexis told me she was a psychologist who was working from home while she cared for her sick mother. She was Cambridge University educated and from a wealthy family, she said. She was a very smart lady who knew so much about so many things. We spoke on the phone every other day for around six months. Just as I confided in her over things going on in my life, she told me about her struggles, including her diabetes.

Then she started telling me about her various business interests. She ran multiple ventures including a successful jewellery retailer, she told me, and she asked if I would be interested in investing in her business. I trusted her completely and started sending her money to invest in her family business in Italy, in her friend’s car company and in Covid vaccines. In total, I gave her more than £35,000, much of which I borrowed from friends and family, believing I would see a great return on my money. I was excited to be building a nest egg for my two children.

But suddenly in December all my calls went unanswered. Her number had been deregistered on WhatsApp. I realised I had been defrauded. It was a massive shock. I am left feeling helpless and think about killing myself sometimes. Please can you help me recover some of my money?

– Anon

AI wanted to know through which website you had met this woman, but you said you couldn’t remember. Quite honestly, I found this hard to believe. I asked if you were in the habit of meeting women online, to which you replied “no”. You insisted you were you’re married and feel ashamed. happily married and that this “Alexis” Although you struggled to come clean character was no more than a friend. entirely to me, you say you have con

Later, you admitted that this wasn’t fessed everything to your wife. This strictly the case. Although you had was one of the hardest things you have never physically met this woman, it ever done. You are still together, but became clear that she had seduced you your marriage has descended to a bad into a fantasy relationship. I asked to place, you said. You know this situation see her picture and you sent me a phois partly of your own doing and the last tograph of an attractive woman in her thing you need right now is me telling 20s wearing a white lace top and little you how stupid you’ve been. By your shorts, lying on a daybed. In another own account, you are a simple man shot she was propped up against an with a naive understanding of busioffice desk in a miniskirt. You spent ness. English isn’t your first language months poring over these images of and you have no GCSEs or A-levels. As someone you felt close to, but now you don’t read newspapers, a kind Teleyou look at them and see a stranger. graph- reading colleague pointed you in The well- spoken woman who spun my direction. you a pack of lies down the telephone Since reading your letter, I’ve felt probably looks very different. You deeply concerned for you. Despite havhaven’t confirmed this, but I believe ing two young children you adore, you may have met this conwoman on you say you’ve contemplated suicide a dating or adult chat website. Perhaps because you feel so low about what has you didn’t want to reveal this because happened. I felt the least I could do was check that both your banks, Lloyds and Santander, had handled your request for a £35,000 refund fairly. Although you have made a catalogue of mistakes here, financial institutions are obliged to do what they reasonably can to keep all customers safe from crime – without exception.

It transpired that Lloyds, from which you transferred £10,600 to the fraudster, had already agreed to return £2,175 to you. It admitted that it should have phoned you to flag a £4,000 transfer as suspicious. By asking you the right questions it could have stopped the scam then and there. But it accepted only partial blame for the loss, as it said you ought to have done more to check that the payments were genuine. I think this was fair enough.

Meanwhile, Santander, from which you transferred the remaining £25,800, had refused to pay back a penny. You said it had never phoned you to query any of the transfers you made, which were as large as £5,000. So I asked it to reopen your case. It refunded 50pc of the money you lost from your Santander account (£12,900). This will allow you to clear the £7,000 you have racked up in debts to loan companies and also repay family and friends. Although you’ve received a partial refund, you are still left with a painful hole in your finances. I’m sorry if this sounds harsh, but this is the price I think you’re going to have to pay for letting your heart rule your head. You could take your case to the Financial Ombudsman Service, but it would be slow and I think it would come to the same conclusion as me.

Now you’ve come close to losing everything, you may feel more appreciative of what you do have: two beautiful children and a wife who is willing to stand by you. Here, right now, is a defining moment in your story. You can either let the pain crush you or find the strength to start afresh and build a better life. You can do it, my dear reader, I know you can. Promise yourself you will graft your way out of this mess and do right by your family. They need you more than ever. In future years, a stronger, wiser you will look back and recognise how far you’ve come.