Money fails
Who else has their hands on your purse strings?
I’ve had an epiphany; a blinding light-bulb moment that made me realise I need to recalibrate my life if I’m ever to enjoy a sound night’s sleep again. The catalyst? One of those heart-stopping moments when you fire up the family computer only to discover your internet provider has suspended your account.
With a work deadline looming, I immediately rang my husband at his office, screeching like a pre-menstrual banshee that he hadn’t paid the bill. He calmly responded that it was clearly a mistake and that all I needed to do was contact the company that handles our account. He may as well have asked me to change the engine oil on the holiday jet that took us to Greece last summer.
“But I don’t know who they are or how to get hold of them,” I cried.
“Well, you should,” he responded, in his “look, I’m busy” voice, before reluctantly agreeing to sort it out.
But as my old friend Google magically reappeared about 20 minutes later, the uncomfortable truth dawned on me: when it comes to utility bills, pension provisions, in fact any aspect of family finance, I know absolutely nothing. Go on, test me. Mortgage lender? Haven’t a clue. Gas provider? Pass. Despite living in the age of post-millennial feminism, when it comes to our domestic money I am a complete ingénue.
Yet I’m not alone. A straw poll of my female friends – educated, modern spouses – found many are equally clueless when it comes to household finances. They argue that since they work, do school runs, organise the trolley dash around Tesco and sort out the family social life, it’s easier for their men to deal with the money.
It may be fine for the Queen not to carry cash, but it can make for a complicated future for the rest of us, as highlighted by the recent case of wronged wives Varsha Gohil and Alison Sharland, who discovered their husbands had misled them about their finances at the time of their divorce proceedings. As a result of a landmark ruling on their case by the Supreme Court in October, spouses can now be sent back to court, where they will be forced to pay their former partners their fair share of assets.
But the case raised questions about what exactly a woman should know about her other half ’s money and the way he stewards the family purse. After all, even if you trust him implicitly, if he’s out somewhere and there’s no phone signal, he’s no use when your electricity gets cut off.
More troublingly, a report last week by the Co-operative Bank and domestic violence charity Refuge found three-fifths of financial abuse cases were reported by women. Half the victims said a partner had made significant financial decisions without consulting them, or made them ask permission to spend money or show evidence of having done so.
Simon Browning, tax partner at UHY Hacker Young, stresses the importance of married or cohabiting women understanding their finances, whether it be assets, liabilities, accounts held in joint names, or what they own separately.
“At the very least I believe it is important to hold at least some funds just in your name to act as a safety blanket should the worst happen,” he says. “This should be enough to help support you for a number of months while you get organised in the event of a separation or death.”
Yet many women are uncomfortable about handling the money. According to research carried out by Barclays, women are less likely to be financially confident: only 38 per cent thought they were financially knowledgeable, compared with 51 per cent of men.
So what sort of things should a wife or partner know? According to Sally Leaman, partner and head of family law at Gorvins solicitors in Stockport, there are some basics everyone financially linked with another should nail.
“Check whose name the house is in, she says. “Is it in joint names or just your partner’s? Check whom the mortgage is with, and how much is outstanding. Are there any life policies and are you a beneficiary in the event of your partner’s death? Is there sufficient life cover to pay the mortgage if he dies? What savings and investments do you have as a couple, and are these in joint names or just one party’s name? Remember, if you separate, you will have no control over savings in your partner’s sole name if he blows the lot on the holiday of a lifetime or some boys’ toys.”
Tasoula Addison, wills, trusts and probate solicitor at Gorvins, says it’s also vital to have basic knowledge about your home, such as whether it is registered with the Land Registry. “If the property is unregistered then make sure you know where the deeds are held, as they will be needed to prove ownership,” she advises.
Having full knowledge of pension provisions and wills is equally important, she stresses. “Often couples prepare ‘mirror wills’, where they agree how they would like their estates to be distributed and make wills in similar terms. Make sure you take a full and active part in reaching a decision about this, rather than simply going along with your partner’s choices.”
For those who are wilfully optimistic about their spouse’s personal safety or happiness in the marriage, it’s easy to look away. But day-to-day experiences, changes in jobs or family circumstances, can suddenly thrust anyone into the role of financial controller. Laurie Taylor, a teacher from Leeds, is a case in point. When her businessman husband, Stuart, fell ill with pneumonia, she suddenly found herself running the family finances.
“Working full-time and being around for our children meant I left money matters to Stuart,” she says. “Suddenly, as well as the stress of him being ill, I found myself dealing with bills, paperwork and emails relating to routine financial matters, such as renewing our house insurance.
“Fortunately, I had a friend who was an accountant who helped me sift through it, but it was still a very anxious time.”
Clare Francis, savings and consumer expert with Barclays, suggests such stress can be avoided with forward planning. “Either file securely or have an online document with the details of all your accounts and policies in a place you can both access,” she says. “In the event of something happening to one of you, the other knows where everything is.”
This means covering the basics, such as who provides your gas, electricity, water, telephone, TV and broadband services, or at least making sure you know where to find this information should you need to.
Jenny Campbell, CEO of YourCash, learnt to handle her family’s financial affairs when her husband, Andy was in the RAF.
“When he returned, we divided responsibility. However, I still am aware of what is going on with all elements of our family finances – including those areas Andy looks after. No one knows when they might well need knowledge of accounts they don’t usually handle. The key is having familiarity and visibility.”
As someone who now has the name and number of her broadband provider burned into her contacts book, I couldn’t agree more.
‘It’s important to hold some funds just in your name, to act as a safety blanket’