BEHIND THE PERFECT I MAGE...

Christmas Facebragging: what you will see

Immaculate free-standing gingerbread palace

Hand-crafted holly wreath hanging majestically on the front door

White-and-gold themed Christmas tree decorated in symmetric perfection, with glass baubles

Presents wrapped and resplendent with cascading curls of ribbons

Video clip of child singing the solo in the carol service

Children helping with Christmas preparations

Christmas Facebragging: what you won’t see

Tins of tomatoes inside the gingerbread palace holding up the walls. Or a bin full of burned, broken bits of gingerbread after an earlier, abortive effort

Fingers bearing plasters after multiple pricks by holly leaves and the dash to the florist to buy expensive holly with berries, as garden holly had none

The Other Christmas Tree, decorated by the children with garish abandon and consigned to a corner, like an embarrassing relation

The au pair, an art college graduate, being paid overtime to wrap the gifts

Chuntering, sotto voce, among the other parents because That Child has been given the solo for the fourth year running

Children refusing to help with preparations that involve anything other than recording the entire Christmas TV schedule