Shakespeare: the inventor of the Hobnob biscuit
Ah, playwriter William Shakespeare. Born in both Stratford and Avon, wrote ye olde gibberish with feather pens, then went to London to seek his fortune – just like his most famous character, Dick Whittington. His greatest work, of course, was Game of Thrones.
Cunk on Shakespeare (BBC Two) was a spoof documentary from comedy character Philomena Cunk. Played with deadpan dim-wittedness by Diane Morgan, Cunk is the gormless pundit from Charlie Brooker’s Weekly Wipe who happily offers her opinions about hot topics, despite not knowing the first thing about them. Shakespeare was no exception, as Cunk promptly proved by “finding out more about his films”.
In a bracing antidote to the luvvieish BBC festival marking 400 years since his death, Cunk gave a sort of bored schoolkid’s view of Shakespeare as purveyor of gobbledegook, unfunny comedies and “royal arse-kissing”. She sniggered at the last four letters of Coriolanus, hailed Romeo and Juliet as “the finest romance of the pre- Dirty
Dancing era” and said Macbeth was set in Scotland “for tax reasons”.
She interviewed experts Ali G-style – with the interviewee unaware that this was a send-up. Stage director Iqbal Khan was baffled when Cunk insisted theatre audiences were “mainly people who wear glasses”. When Simon Russell Beale performed Hamlet’s nunnery scene soliloquy, Cunk got bored and started fiddling with her phone.
My mounting hysteria peaked when linguist Ben Crystal told her Shakespeare invented 1,000 words and phrases still in use today. Cunk read out a list to see if Shakespeare had coined them. “Cuckoo? Ukulele?” “No.” “Ceefax?” “No.” “Omnishambles? Nutribullet? Bromance? Sushi?” “No, no, no, no,” said Crystal, struggling to keep a straight face. Eventually she found one: hobnob. “I suppose it makes sense he came up with hobnob,” mused Cunk. “It’s the most old-fashioned biscuit. Like eating a thatched roof.”
It takes intelligence to act this stupid. The script was stuffed with malapropisms and witty wordplay. Cunk’s implacable idiocy was thrillingly iconoclastic. Mainly, though, it was very silly and gloriously funny.
It’s always fun to catch a vegetarian lapsing: scoffing a sly bacon sandwich or secretly chowing down on some chicken. Nature’s Epic
Journeys (BBC One) captured the wildlife equivalent: the first footage of elephants gorging on weaver bird nests – eggs, chicks and all. Well, it must be tough staying smugly veggie when tempting aromas are drifting up your supersensitive 7ft nose.
This three-part series found elfin Irish zoologist Liz Bonnin following animal migrations with real-time satellite tracking and other whizzy tricks. First up was one of the largest elephant migrations in Africa, as one thousand gentle giants trekked to their annual gathering at Kenya’s Samburu National Reserve – a sort of pachyderm Glastonbury, where they meet in grasslands to eat, drink and mate.
We saw close-up the physical majesty and emotional intelligence of these remarkable creatures – all flapping ears, swinging trunks and wise eyes. When one was shot with a sedative dart so rangers could fit a tracking collar, Bonnin kept it cool by dashing water over its wrinkly skin and propped open its nostrils to keep its airways clear, marvelling at the feel of its hot breath on her hand. Another elephant found some discarded collars from tuskers killed by poachers and spent half an hour fondling them, poignantly mourning the dead.
The gently absorbing film followed two main storylines. Lone bull Matt (it’s amusing when animals are given mundane human names – my friend has a cat called Ian) was seeking a mate. He was “in musth”, flooded with testosterone to make him sexually aroused but aggressive. Matt even charged the cameraman’s jeep, unsure whether to attack or mount it. He eventually chose a female, chased her, saw off rival males like a nightclub lothario and it was mission accomplished.
Meanwhile, teen mother Habiba had been thrust into the role of matriarch, leading a ragtag band of youngsters whose parents had been shot for ivory. It’s a growing problem, with one in five groups now “orphan herds”. To survive, they needed an older, wiser herd to adopt them. It was a long shot but the orphans got their happy ending too. In many ways, elephant society seemed more civilised than ours.
Cunk on Shakespeare ★★★★ Nature’s Epic Journeys ★★★