The referendum campaign? Ah yes, I remember it well
hatever happens tomorrow, the primary schoolchildren who skip, scoot and cycle past my house will still be there in their summer gingham on Friday morning.
Parents on both sides of the debate have said they will vote for the sake of their kids. Many, I know, believe there is greater prosperity and safety to be had within the EU, with the devil we know. For myself, I detest the arrogant obliviousness of the Brussels oligarchy, am convinced that the accursed eurozone will collapse, and I’d like our country to be well away from the falling debris.
By now, the Remain campaign expected to have a comfortable lead. Well, they don’t, which is why the Prime Minister made that strange, panicky little speech in Downing Street yesterday afternoon, and it’s all down to underestimating the national character. The British people have been bombarded with daily warnings of the bleak fate that awaits us should we be crazy enough to try to run our own country, yet at least half have replied: “Nah, don’t think so, mate.”
How that British spirit survives I don’t know, but survive it does, and it’s a precious thing. Meanwhile, here is my A to Z of the passionate, sometimes crazy, referendum campaign.
Ais
for… Ambition, the word David Cameron chose to replace “target” or “pledge” during the campaign. You may have thought the Tories made a manifesto pledge to cut immigration to the tens of thousands, but it turns out that was only an “ambition” – ie, sounds good, but it’s never going to happen. Steve Hilton, the PM’s former advisor, revealed yesterday that his boss was told four years ago that the “pledge” on immigration was unachievable while Britain was still in the EU. Cameron kept making it anyway. Bis
for… Boris, Brexit and Battlebus. Throughout the campaign, Boris tamped down his Inner Tigger, perhaps because he harbours serious hopes of running the country at the end of it all. The shout on the side of the Leave battlebus – “We send the EU £350 million a week” – became the referendum’s most hotly disputed statistic because Brexiteers were slow to admit it was a gross rather than a net figure. Runner-up was George Osborne’s threat that the UK would be poorer by £4,300 per household in 2030. It turned out that we wouldn’t be poorer, but richer, although maybe slightly less rich than had we not left the EU. Confused? You were meant to be. Cis
for… Corbyn, Jeremy. Widely believed to be working undercover for the Leave campaign, the Labour leader admitted that the EU’s free movement meant that there could be no upper limit on immigration. Only 10 Labour MPs came out for Brexit, roughly the number of Labour voters beyond the bounds of Hampstead who planned to vote Remain.
Dis for… Dyson. Sir James was one of the few businessmen big enough and brave enough to speak out for Brexit (JCB’s Lord Bamford was another). Dyson said it was “cobblers” to suggest that the EU wouldn’t trade with Britain if we left; they would be “committing economic suicide”. We would be richer and, most importantly, have control over our own destiny. Who better than a vacuum-cleaner billionaire to say that Brussels sucks? Eis for… the European Council,
the Council of Europe, the Court of Justice of the European Union, the European Commission, and all those other baffling bodies which have the power to overrule the wishes of the British people and their Parliament. Fis
for… Fear. Desperate to avoid talking about the EU, except to concede that “it’s far from perfect”, the Remain campaign set out to terrify the public into voting In. After all, anxiety had swung voters in the Scottish referendum. It started to backfire when the daily warnings of apocalypse became a national joke. Gis
for… Gove and Gisela. Almost no politician has emerged with their reputation enhanced (the PM’s trust rating on the EU is a dire 18 per cent), but Michael Gove and Gisela Stuart conducted themselves with decency and good humour. Plus, it was hard to get the Little Englander label to stick to a Scot and a German. His
for… House prices, which could go down if we leave the EU, warned George Osborne. If he was expecting howls of horror, they never came. Instead, a nation cheered at the thought that its offspring might be able to afford somewhere to live. Iis
for… Immigration. At no point did the Remain campaign explain how this country is going to absorb at least 250,000 incomers – a city the size of Newcastle – every single year for the foreseeable future; how our schools will cope (900,000 extra places needed by 2024); how this land can remain green and pleasant when we must build a new house every six minutes just to keep pace. If Britain votes to leave tomorrow, it will be because we know there is no more room for new Newcastles. Jis for… Jean-Claude Juncker. The
unelected President of the European Commission and the embodiment of Brussels’s undemocratic, elitist tendencies. Explaining how the EU introduced the euro to unwilling states, Juncker explained: “We decide on something, Project Fear backfired when the daily warnings of apocalypse became a national joke leave it lying around and wait and see what happens. If no one kicks up a fuss, because most people don’t understand what has been decided, we continue step by step until there is no turning back.” Juncker is basically Sepp Blatter with A-levels.
Kis
for… King, Mervyn (now Lord). The former Governor of the Bank of England caused a stir when he predicted the collapse of the eurozone and contradicted his successor, Mark Carney, saying the economic costs of leaving the European Union had been “exaggerated”. This heightened the sense that it’s not those in power, but those who have relinquished it, who find themselves free to speak the
unvarnished truth. (Other examples included Lord David Owen, Michael Howard, Nigel Lawson and Richard Dearlove, former head of MI6, who claimed that the UK’s security could be improved outside the EU.) Lis
for… Lagarde, Christine. The head of the IMF, aka George Osborne’s cougar friend, popped up at regular intervals to issue threats which happened to coincide with France’s interests. Almost as self-defeating as President Obama telling us we’d have to go to the back of the queue for a trade deal. No doubt, over the final 24 hours, madame Lagarde will purr into view once more. Mis for… Maternity services in
crisis due to pressures caused by immigration. Half of all maternity units in England have closed their doors to pregnant women for more than three days over the past two years. Nis for… Nigel Farage. Hero to some, bogeyman to others, but the reason we had the referendum. Farage really knows his stuff and he had a good campaign until the Breaking Point poster, with its tide of wretched humanity, triggered echoes of Nazi propaganda. Nigel claimed the poster wouldn’t have played so badly were it not for the murder of Jo Cox. Maybe so, but it went beyond the bounds of decency, alienating the well-meaning Don’t Knows. All the momentum was with Leave until that moment. Ois
for… Oops. The original slogan of the Remain campaign was “The best of both worlds”. It was swiftly dropped after some clever clogs pointed out that what the maxim actually says is “You can’t have the best of both worlds”. Like I say, Oops. Pis for… PointsBased System. Brexiteers say they will introduce one just like Australia’s if we leave the EU. So Britain can choose the skilled workers
it needs, rather than having a lot of shouty Eastern European blokes standing outside B&Q loudly undercutting all the local builders. Qis
for… Quitters. The PM’s insulting name for Britons who think that a country with a thousand years of history could just about manage in the big world all by itself. Ris
for… Renegotiation. Only one person seemed to think that the PM’s “better deal for Britain” was any good – the PM. Sis
for… Sir Stuart Rose. Leader of the Stronger In campaign, Sir Stuart got off to a cracking start when he admitted that wages would go up if we left the EU, “though that would not necessarily be a good thing”. Er…? Sir Stuart has not been seen since. Tis
for… Turkey. Shhh, don’t mention the T-word! On March 18, the Prime Minister committed the UK to “not impede the acceleration” of the accession of Turkey to the EU. This slipped his mind during the campaign when he said that Turkey would not join until 3000. Leave EU, meanwhile, ran its own Project Fear about Turkey, not exactly going out of its way to discourage thoughts of 10 million kebab shops being opened in Oxfordshire alone. Uis
for… Undecided. One in ten have yet to make up their minds. Some are probably still looking for the elusive “facts” they claim to want. But the “facts” were usually prejudices wearing a collar and tie. Given the closeness of the race, the Don’t Knows could swing the result. Vis
for… V-signs. Flicked by Bob Geldof and his moneyed mates from a luxury cruiser at the flotilla of fishermen on the Thames who had come to protest at the destruction of their industry by the EU. Perfect symbol of the gulf of incomprehension and ill-feeling between the two sides. Wis for… Working-class. Stupid, uneducated people who weirdly object to seeing their wages driven down by unskilled EU migrants and their communities altered beyond recognition. Formerly known as the backbone of England, salt of the earth, hard-working families etc. Xis for… X-perts. “I think people in this country have had enough of experts,” declared Michael Gove, largely on the grounds that none of the aforesaid experts agreed with him. Yis for… Young people, who are more likely to support Remain than Leave. Fortunately, they are also less likely to get out of bed and vote. Zis for…Zero. The number of times EU law has been changed because Britain has raised objections. This has not been for want of trying.