AFTER SO LONG TOGETHER, IS THIS THE E ND?

This week: There’s an offer on the cottage and Richard drops a bombshell

Increasingly, after the estate agent phoned with an offer on the cottage, I felt like a tennis player scuttling about as little yellow balls zinged towards me: selling the house, finding a new place to live, my relationship with James, lunch with my stepson Tom, and of course, the divorce itself, which I knew must gather pace once the house sale was set in motion.

I had left a message for Richard about the offer, and he suggested we “meet to discuss it”. I would rather have communicated in writing – I had a terrible habit of forgetting what Richard had actually said, and only remembering his tone of voice. Years of nervy, fight-or-flight response to a brewing row, or an awareness that he was about to go into lecture mode – his voice dropping low and slow, like someone explaining ancient civilisations on TV – meant that what he actually said was mostly irrelevant. But if we were going to accept £10,000 under the asking price, we needed to discuss it properly.

Richard and I agreed to meet in London, but the only day we could both manage was the day I was also meeting Tom – and, as it turned out, his girlfriend, Jade.

I liked Jade, but I’d wanted a chance to talk with Tom one-to-one. As it was, he chose a hectic bistro near his office, soundtracked by crashing cutlery and banging coffee machines, and Jade slid into the booth next to him, looking wary. I suspected Richard had charmed her, too. We managed to get through most of the meal on pleasantries, before I finally said: “So, about what your Dad told you…” Both of them immediately looked alarmed, as if I was about to quiz them in court.

“It’s fine,” I added – although it wasn’t – “I just want you to know, I didn’t leave him for James. We’d had problems for a long time…” I saw Jade flick a glance at Tom, that said, “Yeah, right.”

“We had,” I persisted. “But that’s not your problem. I just want you to know I’m always here, and…”

Tom smiled kindly at me. “It’s all fine,” he said. “Look, I have to get back to work, so…” I paid, and my plans for the great rapprochement petered out in air-kisses and a dispute over the tip.

I was both disappointed and feeling furious with Richard when he arrived, 10 minutes late, at the coffee place. He was brisk, adopting the role of “decent lawyer who strives to be fair”. He bought the coffee and sat opposite me. I never liked seeing him – his presence triggered a storm of unpleasant emotions in me, and perhaps I did the same to him.

“So, the offer,” he said. “Thoughts?”

“I’d take it,” I said. “That way at least we can both move on, get the divorce going.”

“I’m all for that,” Richard said. I must have looked surprised.

“I’ve actually met someone,” he said.

I knew he’d been dating, after he “accidentally” sent a text about a new girlfriend to me. “She’s great,” he added, “But the thing is, she’s 10 years younger than me, and she wants children, so the sooner we can move on…”

“You’re willing to have more children?” My voice came out in a shriek.

He shrugged, coyly. “With her, yes,” he said.

Rage rose in me like a black wave. He’d always said: “We already have children, a baby would be too disruptive for everyone.”

I stood and pushed my way outside, where I found I was crying. I dialled James, who was working, and blurted out what had happened in a rush, hoping his usual calmness would talk me down, but he was uncharacteristically silent.

“Sorry,” I said, eventually, “You’re busy.”

“No.” His voice was chilly. “But I am rather shocked that you still apparently care so much about your ex. I’ll call you later.” And he cut me off.

Next week: Will James calm down, who is Richard’s lover – and a handful of housing problems.

‘Rage rose in me like a black wave… I pushed my way outside, where I found I was crying’