Midlife guide to... Jet-set Santa

Santa Claus, you say? Don’t we have at least two months left before we have to deal with him?

Well, we would have, if it wasn’t for Selfridges. The London department store has become the first in the world to reveal its festive window display, an impressive 65 days before Christmas. It took a team of 100 people eight days to get it all ready, but now passers-by can enjoy 16 festive windows – most of which star good old Father Christmas.

That’s madness. We haven’t celebrated Hallowe’en or Bonfire Night yet. The clocks don’t go back till next weekend. It isn’t even that cold!

Yep. Welcome to our new post-truth world.

Fine, well as long as that is the only bit of tradition they’re messing about with. Hang on, though, did you say Jet-set Santa? Isn’t Santa meant to get around on his sleigh with reindeer?

Well spotted. Selfridges’ version of Santa may not be quite as you remember him. The reindeer are long gone. This modern Santa flies by private jet, dances around a boom box in a sequinned suit and deejays in his spare time. He’s even a keen skier, relaxing afterwards in a hot tub of baubles with champagne, and wears only the best – his suits all feature 6,000 hand-stitched large sequins, actually.

Ugh – I’m not sure I want that kind of Santa coming down my chimney, to be honest. What kind of seasonal message are they trying to get across here?

Apparently, it is “all about having fun, letting go and rejoicing”. Selfridges want to move away from the “intellectual” concepts of years before and just create a “big party that everyone is invited to”. See you there. Oh, go on then.