A little less vanity would have spared the Oscars this calamity
The last time Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway were together on screen, it ended in bloodshed. The pair, who co-starred as gangsters Bonnie and Clyde, were reunited to present the Best Picture Oscar at the 89th Academy Awards. By now, the world knows how that worked out. Beatty opened an envelope that contained the result for the Best Actress category. Evidently bemused, he held off reading out the name before, in an act conspicuously lacking in gallantry, he passed the hot potato to Dunaway. She thought Beatty was inviting her to read the card out, so she did. La La
Land was duly declared the winner, and the rest is hysteria. Should’ve gone to Specsavers.
No, really, I mean it. Disaster could have been averted if Beatty, who is 80 at the end of this month, had just put on his reading glasses. “Actress in a Leading Role” is clearly embossed in gold letters on the front of the red envelope.
By the daffy standards of La La Land, Beatty is a towering intellect. He could have figured out there had been a mistake, informed the audience, demanded the Best Picture envelope pronto and saved the day.
But this is a movie star we’re talking about. No way was the legendary Lothario going to whip out a pair of specs; not with millions of eyes on his remarkably wellpreserved countenance.
Disfiguring vanity is Hollywood’s abiding sin and it played more than a supporting role in the fiasco. As the host, Jimmy Kimmel, joked, the movie industry no longer discriminates on grounds of race or colour, but on “age and weight”. No old faces allowed. At least 76year-old Dunaway has recovered from whatever “make over” left her looking like a Siamese cat in a wind tunnel. Still, if she and Beatty spent less time trying to embalm their lost youth and more time acting like responsible senior citizens then cinema’s biggest night wouldn’t have been a shambles.
But here’s a little
conspiracy theory. Emma Stone was named best actress for La La Land, but the most remarkable performance by far was Annette Bening playing an anguished, middle-aged single mother in 20th
Century Women. It deserved an Oscar. Bening didn’t even get a nomination. Why? Well, Donald Trump and Meryl Streep had a spat, so Streep had to get nominated to prove Hollywood protects its own and hates Trump. Although Streep’s performance in Florence
Foster Jenkins is lovely, she already has more awards than Donald Trump has hotels. Bening was robbed most cruelly.
Now, Bening just happens to be Mrs Warren Beatty. Imagine what Beatty felt opening that envelope to see “Emma Stone” and La La Land when he knew that, if there was any justice, it would have been his wife’s name. They should make a film about it.