What a load of Crocs
As the most-maligned footwear in the world is given a designer spin, the reign of the fugly shoe is not over, finds Rebecca Gonsalves
Right now, nothing screams fashion with a capital F louder than an ugly shoe. Sure, sexy stilettos and prim courts skip in and out of style every few seasons, but for serious fashion points the rule to follow is: the uglier and more orthopaedic, the better. The front row is a well-trodden battleground when it comes to “challenging” shoes. But some styles are just too hideous to be redeemed – aren’t they?
I’m all for a bit of ugliness – give me geography teacher sandals and bovver boots any day – but I have yet to make the leap to Crocs, even if London Fashion Week designer Christopher Kane has whipped up crystalencrusted versions. Bloggers such as Leandra Medine of Man Repeller and Eva Chen, head of fashion partnerships at Instagram, who wore hers into the labour ward (practical), have the necessary flair to make them look on trend rather than tragic. My style, however, is considerably more low-key, and I worry I’d just look as though I’d slipped into the closest shoes to the front door. Or that I’d given up completely.
Beloved of hospital workers, gardeners and the under-10s (including Prince George) the world over since Crocs debuted 15 years ago – at a boat show in Florida, which probably tells you all you need to know about their style credentials – the lightweight clog has been much maligned by the style set. Sure, there may be a purely utilitarian pair lurking in even the chicest woman’s walk-in wardrobe, but she wouldn’t be seen popping to the corner shop for a pint of almond milk in them, let alone striding out for a day of high-powered meetings or cocktails with friends.
But if Christopher Kane has his way, that’s all set to change. Well-known for playing with established ideas of good taste and his ability to find beauty in the unusual, he accessorised jazzy cocktail frocks and sheeny, leopard print skirts with Crocs in his spring/ summer 2017 collection, customising them with marbling effects and exclusive colours. The usual juvenile clip-on charms depicting Elsa, Ariel and other members of the Disney sorority were replaced by great, glittering hunks of crystals and chunky minerals. For autumn/winter 2017 he’s done mink-lined versions.
Although brownsfashion.com and mytheresa.com stock them, even with Kane’s alchemic abilities, Crocs are proving a difficult sell. Surprisingly so, for they have all the hallmarks of fashionably ugly (rather than simply badly designed) footwear. They’re clumpy, which has the benefit of making one’s legs look slimmer in comparison. They’re flat, too. And given that a recent survey by Hotter Shoes reveals that 70 per cent of British women still opt for looks over comfort when it comes to footwear (with the blisters and bunions to prove it), perhaps Mr Kane is on to something. If only we can be convinced.
High heels can, of course, be fashion-ugly – see Margiela’s cult cloven-hooved Tabi boots – but the truly hideous are usually flat-soled and with a distinct whiff of utility, sports or Dr Scholl about them.
It’s easy to mock, but the right pair of fashion-ugly shoes (see box, right) makes everything you wear instantly look edgier. And if you select properly, you’ll also be able to walk in them. Helpful, given that mobility is a key accessory this season, now that fashion has decided to get behind feminism.
‘It’s easy to mock, but the right pair of ugly shoes makes everything you wear instantly look edgier’