COMMON INFATUATIONS FOR WOMEN AND MEN

Women

1. The sexy, dishevelled younger man. Often found on the daily commute. He’s half your age, looks like a model and only has eyes for his phone, which makes it safe for you to stare at length. Go ahead: a sharp intake of breath and a little flutter is yours for the taking

when he gets on and off his stop.

2. The security guard at your supermarket / office. He’s wellbuilt and has the patience of saint, keen eyes and is probably bored out of his mind, which means that he’s more often than not keen to engage in a chat. Commonly mistaken for flirting. 3. Massage therapist / personal trainer. Boundaries can often blur when a job involves either you stripping down to a pair of paper pants, or turning up to an appointment in Lycra. It’s intimate and he’s seen you at your very worst, but he still seems to like you. Crush away, but remember,

any touching is part of his job description and what he is being paid for.

Men

1. Barista babe. Clearly, though, not the one nearest your house that you go to every day without fail, because that could escalate dangerously. The one most likely to cross over to crush territory

is the one at the Costa Coffee near the office.

2. Your GP/ therapist. Naturally this could be awkward, depending on your complaint. But a GP/ therapist is a sensible and professional person trained to circumvent any funny business. This crush is most likely to

be analysed as Oedipal.

3. Your child’s primary school teacher. Especially on sports day. You can go along and shout and wave, all in the name of being a supportive dad; and if you happen to notice the elegant way she has with a whistle and a jog, nobody’s going to sue you.