EMMA CITRON
There are many traits and behavioural patterns that go with being an only child. Growing up in a household without siblings means a person must self-source their own entertainment. They grow up learning to be more selfmotivated and self-propelled, less able to rest on their siblings’ laurels, but with a freer rein to indulge their imagination.
Only children are also often very articulate. They are used to adult-only environments and participating in higher level conversations. This can be a double-edged sword, as they can become what’s called “over- adultified’ when they are more attuned to adult emotions and mood than they should be. But early adultification can shape a person in beneficial ways.
Theresa May was an only child and her father a pastor. She might have been more aware and impressed by the ethics of hard work, community and a strong moral compass as a result of being in the company of her parents.
The downside to not having siblings can be a greater sense of loneliness and isolation which, for naturally quiet types, can lead to struggles with socialising with peers. It’s also true that many only children seek out sibling-like connections with others to whom they are not related. They look for “families” elsewhere, among peer groups.
Development depends on personality type as well as your parents and other factors. But many only children I see in my clinic say they wish they had had siblings.
Emma Citron, a clinical psychologist, has a private practice in north-west London